


lamb to the slaughter

by lacunia



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, M/M, POV Aaron Minyard, POV Andrew Minyard, POV Male Character, feel free to tell me if i miss anything, this is going to be pretty dark, warnings will be in the notes at the start of every chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29747046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacunia/pseuds/lacunia
Summary: After being saved from a vicious and merciless kidnapper that had him for eight long traumatising weeks, Asher Foster is trying his best at normalcy.He continues to work at a convenience store and continues to do his schoolwork, but his attempt at prevalence is postponed when he learns he has not one, but two older twin brothers.Now Asher's not only dealing with the aftereffects and the outcome of his own grisly dark past, but also the task of meeting and understanding Andrew and Aaron and their own family, the Palmetto State Foxes.or, there's another secret Minyard brother.
Relationships: Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard, Aaron Minyard & Andrew Minyard & Original Male Character, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Past Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 110
Kudos: 151





	1. i am the sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher Foster attempts a normal week. But, well, the world hates him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! welcome to a new multi-chapter fic that I am still planning and going around. I am unsure of my writing schedule yet, but I hope I can keep a steady upload coming up! 
> 
> this is the first chapter, and as a result is just mostly worldbuilding. I apologise for the overwhelming amount of information and possible questions, but that's kind of just how I roll, I guess heh
> 
> if you checked the archive warning's, you've seen the rape/non-con warning. I'll just simply say it now: I will /not/ be actually writing these types of scenes out. there will be scenes that imply or reference the sexual assault or possible flashbacks, but no actual texts of said actions. 
> 
> here's the warnings for chapter one = 
> 
> // mention of drugs, mention of kidnapping, description of scars, references and mentions of torture, references and mentions of murder, physiological treatment and implied and referenced rape. // 
> 
> please make sure to comment or message me personally on my tumblr (lacuniaa) if you feel as if more warnings should be added!
> 
> enjoy!

**chapter one:** _i am the sickness_

_Tuesday 27th. February 2007._

It's always during the winter that Asher is reminded just how horrible Boston is.

His fingertips feel frozen, and his veins have ice in them, streams of frost pumping throughout his body and forcing chills down his spine. The February weather is harsh, and Asher _hates_ it. He would much rather be at home right now, where he can be under a hot shower and engulfed by steam.

Instead, Asher's helping to close up _Horizon,_ the corner store Asher works at. Hunter, a large German Shepherd, trots after Asher as he locks the doors, and Asher rubs a hand against his soft head. Hunter boofs and wags his tail.

Asher runs a hand through his blonde hair before quickly shoving his hands back into his pockets, trying to keep them warm. He turns around and gazes over to Warren Ross, the owner of _Horizon_ and also his current acting guardian.

"Locked?" Warren questions. The mans voice has a certain smoker rasp to it, his tone even and gruff. He's got dark skin and oak brown eyes, and a scruffy beard with a slightly buzzed haircut. His build is tall, his body more lean than muscle.

Asher looks away from Warren and steps aside to show him the door before attempting to open it twice, showing him that it is, indeed, locked. Warren scoffs and nods to his truck.

Hunter boofs again and starts leading Asher over to the car, and then the three clamber into the vehicle. Asher closes the door and immediately locks it, and Hunter, squished by his feet, places his head onto his lap.

Warren turns the heating on and puts the radio at a low volume before pulling out of the small car park, beginning the drive home. Since Asher doesn't have a phone himself--too easy to track--he check's the time on the radio, which says, _11:37 PM._ He relaxes back into his seat.

Asher was hoping the silence would last, but Warren is a fairly insistent man when he wants to be. True to his nature, Warren breaks the silence and says, "You were quiet today."

Asher tilts his head towards the window and closes his eyes.

He's always been a quiet person. Growing up in foster care and being put in strict, borderline abusive, homes hadn't done much for his mindset, and the past few months have basically destroyed any urge for social activity Asher has ever gotten.

The blonde only trusts Warren and his daughter, Safa, because they're practically the only people left that Asher actually knew before _everything_ happened. His adoptive mother, Elaine, died when he was 16 from a heart attack, and his adoptive sister, Hayley was murdered last year, when he was 17.

Asher opens his eyes and tilts his head at Warren, and says quietly, "Sorry."

"It's alright, kid," Warren replies. A sigh leaves the man and he asks, "Fuzzy day, again?"

Fuzzy days. Days where Asher feels like his brain is oozing out the side of his head and he can only see the world through a fish-lens.

Asher shifts. "No. I just." He pauses. What does he say? That every dark space, every corner, is a spot where _he_ could be hiding? That every breath pulls and tears something in his chest? That every step forwards and backwards takes him back to a dark cabin in the woods?

Asher doesn't continue. Warren lets the silence sit once again, and Asher looks out the window at Boston, at the city he's known for his entire life, at the possibility of disappearing again.

Because that's how life is now, apparently. Getting kidnapped fucks up your mind, and Asher hates it so much. The paranoia, the feeling of not being able to trust, the constant shaking in his hands, the therapy, the shadows, the drowning sense of _helplessness._

Asher bites his lip and closes his eyes tightly, and the car ride back is silent, save for the low hum of the radio.

●

The house has a few lights on when the two get back, which means Safa must be home. Warren's daughter looks similar to Warren, with dark skin and deep honey eyes, and she's tall and lean. She works full-time as a mechanic, and sometimes helps out at _Horizon._

Hayley was the original connection between Asher and the Ross's. She and Safa had been dating, and when Asher had met them he'd been offered a job at Warren's store. Even now, with Hayley dead, the Ross's still see him as part of the family, much to Asher's confusion.

Yes, he trusts them, and they trust him, but sometimes it is difficult to see it as a _forever_ thing.

Asher pats Hunter's head and gets out of the car, tugging his sleeves down over his fingers as he does so. Warren unlocks the front door and lets them in, locking it behind them as they enter.

There's noise coming from the kitchen, the source most likely Safa making dinner. Asher glances inside to make sure that, yes, it _is_ Safa, and after that gets confirmed he turns back. Warren tugs off his coat and Asher hands his own to him so the man can put them both on the rack.

While Warren leads Hunter to his bed in the loungeroom, Asher makes his way upstairs. He grabs his clothes from his room and slips into the bathroom. He avoids looking at the mirror as he tugs his clothes off, back aching with phantom pain, the scars over his face tightening as he grimaces, stepping into the steaming water.

The heat is unpleasant at first, a striking contrast to the coldness before, but as he relaxes into it Asher gets comfort from it. The hot water streams over his body and Asher closes his eyes.

He stays in the shower for a small while before turning it off and drying himself quickly. He goes to put his clothes on immediately afterwards, but his hands freeze before they can touch the felt and cotton.

The fan has cleared the condensation on the mirror and Asher risks a look at himself.

His body used to be just like every other normal person's; skin not tainted with grim and crooked scars and no random bandages in places. But after the kidnapping, Asher's body looks like it could be used on a horror movie set.

Five diagonal scars run down his chest from a piece of curved glass, and a long line runs down his collarbone to his navel from the same weapon. Knife and burn scars line the inside of his thighs, and the mark of handcuffs have been engraved around his wrists and ankles. Repeated hits from a belt line his back angrily, as do scratches from sharp fingernails that also sit and curve around his hips and the back of his neck.

Other small cuts and burns have been scarred around the rest of his body, but the most prominent scars are probably the three on his face--the ones Asher hates the most.

He has a vertical scar that starts at the tip of his forehead and goes directly over his eyebrow and ends down at his cheekbone, a symmetrical one over his other eye. Asher was lucky enough that _he_ didn't want to harm his eyesight, so his eyes and eyelids sit untouched by the two scars.

However, Asher was unfortunate as well, because his kidnapper had then moved on to the lower half of his face, slashing a messy Glasgow smile into his face, vertical lines running throughout it to make it look like a Halloween skeleton.

His face still looks like himself, but the scars make it scary and uncomfortable to look at and Asher hates how others have stared lately. He had honestly thought Warren would be forced to fire him, but so far no customers have requested for him to. Yet.

Aside from his new scars, Asher's body has also changed physically. He's lost weight, and at some angles his ribs show vividly, and his eyebags are purple and ghoulish and heavy. Bandages and tape ring around his fingers, helping them when they ache from how badly they were broken during the kidnapping. His fingernails are blunt and chipped from being dragged over wooden floors, and stitches are weaved throughout his skin everywhere.

Not everything has changed, though. His eyes are still hazel and golden, black rings lining the iris's, and his hair is blonde and long enough to tickle his cheekbones, parted in the middle. He's still the short stature of five feet even, and his skin is still as pale as snow, freckles scattered over his nose and cheeks.

Asher takes a slow deep breath and rips his eyes from the mirror, quickly getting changed. He shoves on some black trackies and layers two pairs of socks onto his feet, putting a grey hoodie on over a baggy top. He can hear the low voices of Warren and Safa downstairs, and he exits the bathroom.

Even though he's supposed to be in bed, Hunter is sitting guard when Asher opens the door, the German Shephard gazing around with an alert pose. Asher feels the tiniest of smiles tug at his lips and he kneels down to ruffle Hunter's pelt.

The dog is so huge he reaches Asher's stomach when he's standing, so he towers when Asher crouches. What would usually make others frightened comforts Asher, though. It's relieving to have a large protective dog in the house.

Asher stands up after a pat and heads downstairs, hand trailing along the wall as he goes down each step. He enters the kitchen and gazes over what Safa has cooked.

Due to Asher's recent disgust towards anything meat, he's had to resort to vegetables and fruits and nuts. Boston itself is expensive enough without the added cost of vegetarian food, so Asher buys his own groceries to not weigh Warren and Safa down anymore than he already has.

The outcome of Hayley and Elaine's death means the leftover family money went down to him, and after selling the house he lived in with the Foster's since he was 14 he's gained enough money that Asher could live on his own in an apartment or a BU dorm room if he was allowed to.

However, his deal with the FBI stops him from moving out. Asher was going to be put on Benzodiazepines anti-depressants for his anxiety, but Warren negotiated with the cops, telling them he and Safa will take care of Asher and the 18-year-old will attend intensive therapy for the next six months.

Asher's only in the first month of his therapy. He was kidnapped last year, when he was 17, on December 4th by a 27-year-old man known as Jonathon Henson. Jonathon kept him in an abandoned cabin out in the deepness of the woods for 56 days before the police finally found and rescued Asher on January 29th.

Asher spent both Christmas and his birthday--January 15th--fighting for his life. He goes to meet with Dr. Tai Luo every Wednesday for his therapy sessions, and despite her suggestion that he allow himself to 'heal'--as he's only been back for 29 days--he's returned to _Horizon_ and is catching up with the schoolwork he missed out on during those eight weeks.

Classes at BU have already started, but Asher himself is returning to the University on March 5th. He's studying English Language and Literature, so he'll have a lot of work to catch up on but. But.

Asher's fine. He's fine.

Asher sits down across from Warren, and Safa takes a seat next to him. Asher glances down at his food; apple salad with spinach, nuts, homemade dressing and carrot and celery and cucumber.

Asher slowly starts eating, which is the cue for Warren and Safa to do so as well.

"How was work?" Warren questions Safa. Asher fiddles with a piece of cucumber.

Safa shrugs and drops her fork to rub her face, "Tiring. Felt _really_ long, for some reason. How about you guys? Busy day?"

Warren shakes his head and replies, "Nah. Only had a few travelers coming in and out and a couple locals."

"Couple locals who come in to gawk at Asher, you mean," Safa corrects. Asher turns and raises an eyebrow at her and she grins and continues, "I'm just telling the truth, little dude. Everyone wants to see you. You were in the newspaper only a couple days ago."

Warren murmurs, "We should use you for advertisement."

Asher glances at Warren and asks, "Is the shop not doing well?"

Warren meets his eyes steadily and says, "You know it hasn't been. It's getting harder to meet ends here."

Safa and Asher share a small look. Safa smiles tightly at the blonde in what could have been a reassuring way, but Asher just frowns a little at her. Safa has been acting normal lately, but Asher just knows she's been pushing her grief for Hayley back. It's only been around three months since her death.

Though, Asher can't judge her for ignoring the pain. He's been avoiding thinking about Hayley's mangled dead body on the kitchen tiles for as long as possible.

The rest of the dinner is spent in a not comfortable or uncomfortable way, the only noise their cutlery against their plates. Safa vanishes into her room afterwards, and Warren and Asher start cleaning the plates.

Asher hangs up the tea towel once he's finished drying, and he turns to leave with a, "I've got an essay to do."

Warren holds a hand up and Asher halts, meeting the man's eyes. They gaze at each other before Warren says, "I think I need to close down _Horizon._ It's not doing well and this place is too god-damn expensive and this--" He glances around the house and out the windows, "It's not. It's not good for us, anymore."

Asher doesn't reply. Warren adds, "Too much has happened here for this to be home."

When Asher still doesn't reply, Warren sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. He glances down at the sink before back to Asher and says, "I mean, you've seen how Safa is. Planting a smile and a grin on her face and a pep in her bloody step when I can hear her sobbing of a night. She drowns herself in work and refuses to see that she needs help. And you--" Warren inhales sharply and cuts himself off.

"And me?" Asher asks quietly. He can feel his eyes narrow, and his voice sounds oddly...cold. Which is weird because Asher doesn't _get_ mad. He just ignores and avoids and _doesn't get mad._

"It's been 29 days." Warren answers. He looks at the roof before back at Asher. "29. Days. You should still be in the hospital, for Christ's sake and yet you. You're _here._ Doing schoolwork and working as if you didn't get kidnapped. As if you weren't stuck in a house for eight weeks."

Asher stares at him and says slowly, "I know what happened. I was there."

Warren stares back at him. Silence rules the room before Asher says, "Doing things is better than doing _nothing._ If I'm doing nothing then I'm a sitting and waiting duck. I need--" Asher inhales through his nose and turns around, running a hand through his hair, "I just need this."

Warren doesn't answer, so Asher leaves him in the kitchen and goes up to his room. He locks the door, stares out the window before locking that too. He pulls the blind down and shoves a chair under the door handle and sits down on the bed so his back is to the wall. 

And then he lays down, stares at the roof, and doesn't sleep at all.

●

_Wednesday 28th. February 2007._

Therapy sessions with Dr. Luo are, surprisingly, not horrible.

The woman is patient and tolerable and hasn't tried to ask Asher anything 'big' yet. They've spoken about Asher's childhood and how his days have been lately, but Asher isn't sure if that's just because they've only just started their sessions or if it's just because she's a genuine person who understands he needs time.

Luo's room is large and breathy, which Asher can appreciate. She has wide windows and two spaces for speaking. Her desk, which is sleek and a pale timber, decorated with small nothing's, a single chair across from it and two couches settled facing one another, a coffee table separating them.

Nothing personal of hers is actually in the room. She has wall paintings to brighten the place, and a book-shelf filled with classics, but there's really nothing about her in it. You have to get to know her through her, which Asher finds is an interesting tactic. He's unsure of if it's effective or not.

Asher gets the day off work to meet with Luo, but since the session is only 50 minutes long, Asher will just return to _Horizon_ afterwards, like always.

Luo meets him at the reception desk of the medical center and they walk in silence to her room. The woman is Chinese and has her black hair tied into a pony-tail. She's barely any taller than Asher, which the blonde annoyingly finds comforting.

They enter the room and get settled into their usual spots; the desk and the chair. Luo clasps her hands over her lap and asks, "Last week we spoke about your day, Asher, and I was wondering if in today's lesson we could do the same thing before we continue. Is that alright?"

Asher nods slowly. She says, "How was yesterday?"

"It was alright." Asher answers quietly. "Was yours...good?"

Luo nods, "It was. Me and my partner went for a drive and I continued some personal projects. You were at _Horizon_ again, yes?" She doesn't usually ask so many questions, as to not dominate the room, but Asher thinks she just does it at the start to get a flow going.

"Yeah. Me and Warren both had our shifts there."

"You two normally have your shifts together, don't you?" Luo asks.

Asher glances away from her and out the window. Silence stews for five heartbeats before Asher says, "Not...before. I think he does it now because it comforts him."

There's another silence as the two sit, Luo waiting to see if Asher will continue before she questions, "And does it comfort you, Asher?"

"I..." Asher looks at her again and shrugs lightly, "I guess. I would rather not be alone, but--" Asher cuts himself off. Luo watches him and waits patiently.

You would expect there to be pressure, but there's not any. Luo is simply letting him direct the conversation now.

Asher looks down at his palms, over the cuts and the bandages and continues. The ugly curves of them keep him grounded, ironically. "I...got. I got angry," Asher attempts, the words in his mouth tasting weird, "I got angry at Warren last night when he thought I should still be in hospital."

Asher looks up at Luo again and adds, "I never used to get _angry_ at things, before."

The doctor observes him and says, "It's normal. You went through a traumatic experience that is bound to make you feel all sorts of things. Anxiety, paranoia, aggression. You're allowed to get angry, Asher. It's _good_ that you're getting angry."

"But." Asher starts and stops.

Luo hums, "But?"

It's hard to say it, and the words shove through gritted teeth. "What if he leaves?"

_Trust issues_ flows through his head and Asher runs from it. He hates this. When did he become dependent? Surely he's not. Surely this isn't who he will be forever.

"I believe," Luo begins, "that the only way Warren will ever leave is if you directly ask him to. The man cares about you, Asher, and I know you see it. Your emotions slipping out and snapping won't make him go and leave you isolated."

Asher's mouth tastes dry and he looks away. There's more silence before he says slowly, "I don't think Safa is dealing with her grief well. Neither does Warren. She just. She just works."

Speaking about Safa is not only a way to get away from himself, but could also indirectly help Asher as well. Warren thinks he's doing the same thing as Safa--drowning in work and school--so he won't give himself up if he tells Luo about Safa instead.

Luo nods and replies, "Safa is dealing with grief. She most likely can't accept Hayley's death and her job helps her feel in control at the moment."

Asher gazes at her and she looks back at him. He breathes and wonders when his skin became so loose.

The rest of the session is spent speaking about small nothing's and no-one's. Asher questions if it's making Luo bored, but the woman shows no sense of the emotion at all. Maybe one day Asher will be alright to speak with her about what happened with Jonathon, but first he has to trust her fully. He can't be caught off guard again. He won't be.

●

_Saturday 3rd. March 2007._

It's raining when they come.

Agent Takamori and Agent Norton are the two FBI workers who watched over Asher after he was rescued, and are also the ones that made the deal with Warren. Asher supposes they're alright, but he might have to alter that impression now that they're standing on the Ross's doorstep unannounced.

"May we come in?" Takamori asks. He's a buff Japanese man with slicked back hair, and at his side Norton squints through her blonde curly hair. Rain spits down on them, and they're each holding a black folder to their chest, wearing black suits.

Warren glances over his shoulder at Asher, who gazes at the Agents tiredly. Asher nods and the man steps aside, and the two hustle inside.

Safa looks up from her phone, her frame sitting on one of the kitchen bench stools. Asher leaves Warren to fuss over the wet shoes the Agent's are wearing and settles in on the dining table, Safa joining him a second later.

Thunder clashes with lightning when Warren, Takamori and Norton all take their seats. The two Agents sit opposite the other three, and Asher watches as they place their folders down.

Norton glances around at their faces and lands on Asher's, holding his gaze. She says, "We apologise for arriving unannounced. I hope you can excuse it."

"Why are you here?" Asher asks after a moment. Takamori and Norton share a glance and Takamori leans forward to cross his arms on the table.

"It has come to our attention," Takamori says. He seems to gather his words for a moment before he says, "That you have relatives."

Warren and Safa intake sharp inhales of breath. Asher stares at Takamori. The world has suddenly turned black and white, and Asher feels like he's not in his own body, like his mind is in the back of his head, behind his brain.

Takamori says something else, but Asher doesn't hear anything. He just see's a mouth moving, and he feels like a puddle, like his blood has seeped out his ears and nostrils and eyes.

Asher's life flashes and flickers before his eyes. For a heartbeat, for a second, for an eternity, Asher isn't in the Ross's home. He's deep in the dark woods, breathing harsh as he runs and runs and runs despite the pain in his legs and hips and thighs. Rain thunders down over him and the sky crackles angrily.

The forest floor underneath him is hard and painful to run on with his bare feet, but Asher doesn't _care._ He just has to get out-- _he has to escape._

The moonlight glints on him and he gets a glance at the blood streaming down his thighs. He lets out a pained noise and keeps on going, and his heart beats faster and faster as he goes. A huge wired fence comes into view and Asher slams into it, scrambling to try and get over it.

"Come on," He cries, " _Come on!_ "

The fence doesn't give way and Asher tries to plant his feet onto it to climb up it, pieces of wire digging into his toes and skin in the process. He screams in frustration and yells hoarsely with a lightning strike, "Help me! _Anyone! HELP!"_

There's no reply.

" _ANYONE!_ " Asher screams. He shoves his face forward and his knuckles go white from their grip on the fence.

Lightning flashes again and an old announcement speaker on the fence starts playing [creaky old music](https://youtu.be/lGQzQrMQEo8?list=PLjw0sq9rUpXa9kOE8XAjCYQkylwGIs3l0&t=34). It's ominous and obscure tune flows through the air.

_I know..._ it hums, _I know...you belong...with somebody...new..._

A hand lands on his shoulder.

_But tonight...you belong...to me._

Asher screams.

"Asher?"

The 18-year-old snaps back into reality and spins his head around to take in the Ross's home. Warm oak timber and wide windows and warm showers. Asher turns back to the dining table, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and looks back at Takamori.

"You good, kid?" The Agent asks, "You kind of zoned out there."

"I'm fine," Asher says quietly. He adds, "You said. You said I had relatives?"

Norton nods and Asher glances at her, "Yes. You have two older twin brothers."

She slides one of the files over and Warren drags it across so it sits in front of Asher. Asher stares down at it-- _two older twin brothers, two older twin brothers, two older_ \--and brings his hands up from underneath the table to rest them on the sleek blank cover.

He glances at Safa and Warren, who nods once slowly, and Asher opens the cover gingerly.

The file opens up to a document. On the left hand corner there's a picture of a man that looks so extremely like Asher that it's heart-stopping. Safa breathes in quickly at the sight and Warren tenses. Asher feels like his brain's about to explode.

The man has short blonde hair and narrowed eyes. He's frowning, gazing at the camera with an unimpressed look on his face. Light freckles dance across his face and his eyes are the colour of honeycomb.

Aside from the obvious similarities, the man has a wider face and jaw, a rounder nose and sharper eyes than Asher. He's got shorter hair, and you can tell he's older, and by his shoulder's he looks like he's bigger than Asher.

Asher allows himself a deep breath before he greedily scans the document for more information, his heart thumping in his chest like a wild rabbit foot.

> **NAME** _Aaron Michael Minyard_
> 
> **DOB** _04/11/1986_
> 
> _20 - 21_
> 
> **HGT** _5'0_
> 
> _Palmetto State University, South Carolina, Charles Whittier._
> 
> _Medicine and Health. Palmetto State Foxes, NCAA Class I Exy._
> 
> _David Wymack. Backliner, 05. Third Year - Junior, 20 - 21._
> 
> **RELATIVES**
> 
> _Tilda Minyard -_ Mother - Deceased
> 
>  _Unknown Father_ \- Father - Unknown
> 
>  _Luther Hemmick_ \- Uncle - Alive
> 
>  _Maria Hemmick_ \- Aunt - Alive
> 
>  _Andrew Minyard_ \- Brother - Alive
> 
>  _Nicholas Hemmick_ \- Cousin/Current Acting Guardian \- Alive

Asher is definitely going to pass out. He reads the file over again and again before he gently sets it onto the table. He has a brother. Called Aaron. He plays Exy--whatever the fuck that is--and studies medicine.

It's so. It's so weird.

Asher doesn't know what to feel.

He turns back to the next page, this one of Aaron's twin. He runs his fingers down the page to smooth out the creases and drinks in this documents photo.

A glance at the name gives him the name Andrew-- _Andrew, two brothers, two twin brothers_ \--and he observes the image. Andrew looks exactly like Aaron, though his eyebrows are darker, sharper, his entire pose different. His golden eyes are heavy-lidded, and there's no tension in any parts of his frame.

His entire expression screams 'bored' and 'detached', and Asher, well, he wants to know _why._ Why do these two look so far away?

Asher reads through Andrew's file, gazing with wide eyes he can't control.

> **NAME** _Andrew Joseph Minyard_
> 
> **DOB** _04/11/1986_
> 
> _20 - 21_
> 
> **HGT** _5'0_
> 
> _Palmetto State University, South Carolina, Charles Whittier._
> 
> _Criminal Justice. Palmetto State Foxes, NCAA Class I Exy._
> 
> _David Wymack. Goalkeeper, 03. Third Year - Junior, 20 - 21._
> 
> **RELATIVES**
> 
> _Tilda Minyard -_ Mother - Deceased
> 
>  _Unknown Father_ \- Father - Unknown
> 
>  _Luther Hemmick_ \- Uncle - Alive
> 
>  _Maria Hemmick_ \- Aunt - Alive
> 
>  _Aaron Minyard_ \- Brother - Alive
> 
>  _Nicholas Hemmick_ \- Cousin/Current Acting Guardian \- Alive

Asher stares at Andrew's file before dragging Aaron's file back over in front of him. He reads them twice more before glancing up at the Agents.

He opens his mouth to ask when he can meet them, when they can meet him, when they can _see_ each other, but he suddenly feels very, very, cold.

What if this isn't real?

What if it's fake? A lure to get Asher somewhere else? A lure to trap him? Asher can't get taken again, he'd die, he'd have to _die._ This isn't real. Asher can't take the chance. He doesn't _really_ know Takamori or Norton, he doesn't really know if they're on his side.

It's madness. This can't be real. It can't be trusted.

Asher shrinks into his seat, pale. He glances at Warren and then at Safa and says quietly, "It's...it's real, right?"

"What?" Takamori questions, but Safa holds Asher's gaze evenly.

"It's real, Asher," She says, "It's real."

Asher takes a deep breath, and he takes the leap. He looks at the Agents and asks, "When can I meet them?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: I have no idea how to write therapists, official FBI documents, cases such as these ones, or basically anything to do with criminology. let's all hang on together.
> 
> I hope this was enjoyable! I am unsure of when the next chapter will be out, but I'm hoping soon! <3 
> 
> thanks so much for reading! I have other AFTG works if you want to check them out. have a great day/night!
> 
> —  
> come yell with me on tumblr — [@lacuniaa](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/lacuniaa)  
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	2. my sweet ragnarök

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a new school year for Andrew and Aaron means the start of practice, the start of classes, the start of a year that will hopefully be more normal than the last one. However, the odds aren't in their favour, because they immediately learn of Asher Foster--their long lost brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! thanks for all the support and excitement for this fic so far <33 it means so much and I'm so glad people are enjoying Asher and his story so far!
> 
> be sure to read the notes at the end of this chapter and the chapter warnings here =
> 
> // references/implied rape, crude language, mention of kidnapping, mention of murder, references and mentions of torture, a panic attack, swearing and cursing, implied/referenced self-harm, description of scars and reference to drug use. //
> 
> enjoy!

**chapter two:** _my sweet ragnarök_

_Tuesday 5th. December 2006._

The house is filled with a slow tune of classical music, thrumming throughout the house like a poisonous vine, seeping into Asher's ears and moulding his brain to mush.

He lays on his side, staring at the wall. His entire being shakes, his arms flat by his sides and body stiff like a board. His breath comes out in a shaky way, stilling for a whole minute at times before forcing itself out.

He's scared. Asher's so scared.

A violin jumps in the song, and he hears the memory of a high-pitched scream. There's a low pulse in the melody as he recalls the blood under his feet as he races towards the kitchen. Someone harmonises just as Asher turns the corner and see's Hayley, her body twisted in odd directions and face smashed in violently.

Asher inhales. He exhales.

Everything _hurts._

On December 4th, Asher had a normal day. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Go to school. Come home.

But then that night, after Asher had slipped into bed and dosed for a minute, maybe two, a terrible screech filled the house and Asher ran to the kitchen and slid in the blood and didn't even have time to _breathe_ before he's knocked out and dragged to a car and driven away and away and away.

On December 5th, he meets Jonathon Henson who grins a terrible grin and makes greedy, dark promises and says crude, disgusting things. A knife is traced along his stomach and handcuffs are attached to his skin and he's pressed into a bed and then hands touch and things push and pound and hurt and then _nothing._

Nothing but the low tune of a classical song.

Asher stares at the wall and allows himself a small, stuttering breath. A heavy arm slowly starts to rest around his middle, dragging him back into the uncomfortable warmth of Jonathon's chest. Asher stares, wide-eyed, at the ceiling and wishes the moonlight would disappear so he wouldn't have to see anything at all.

●

_Saturday 3rd. March 2007._

Asher snaps his eyes open, and immediately gets out from his bed.

He can still feel the twitchiness in his body from being so close to Jonathon, can still feel a shakiness in his hands and legs and everything. Asher's chest starts to heave desperate breaths and he shoves his hands against the wall, trying to not hyperventilate.

The corners of his eyes blur dangerously, and his vision disfigures, going out of focus and in. For terrifying seconds, Asher's staring out of a fish-lens. He steps forward once, for the door, to _move,_ to _get out_ , because _he has to run._ He has to get away.

His heart skips what feels like several beats and Asher has to grip his wrist with his other hand to rip the door open. There's a sense of dread at the thought of rougher, larger hands interlocking around his wrists--restraining--and the dread only grows as Asher stumbles out the door.

If he wasn't panicking, maybe Asher could have used methods to calm himself down from his panic attack. He could think about how it had been only a few hours since Takamori and Norton left, leaving the hope of a new future with Asher and the Ross's. He could think about Andrew and Aaron and their cousin, Nicky, and things like hot showers and hot chocolates and sunlight.

However, Asher's mind is like a carousel ride, going around and around as it continuously repeats the memories of heavy grunts and slams and burns and aches. His skin itches and simmers and Asher finally manages to get down the stairs.

Both Safa and Warren are pretty heavy sleepers, but Hunter's not. The dog bounds up from his bed and starts sniffing Asher. Asher lands on his knee's and sucks in a deep breath and shoves his face into Hunter's fur, trying to grasp for a lifeline. 

A hot flush goes up his spine and lands around his neck, tightening like invisible hands. Phantom nails dig into his skin and Asher almost vomits from the painful memory. Hunter whines and barks once, and Asher manages to wheeze out a, "S-shh."

He doesn't want to wake Warren and Safa. Safa deserves to have a rest after dealing with her long week at work, and Warren needs his sleep due to his horrible shut-eye pattern.

Hunter falls quiet and presses a wet nose to his head. Asher drags himself out of Hunter's fur and makes a slow trek to the kitchen telephone. A horrible gasp leaves his mouth and Asher reaches out for the device and dials a familiar number.

Chills go through his body and the world seems to tilt, but he focuses on the sound of Luo's voice as she answers the phone with a, "Hello?"

Asher can't speak, so he just coughs wetly and wheezes.

"Asher?" Luo asks, alert, "Asher?"

The blonde can't answer. His dull fingernails scratch against the tiles.

"Hey, Asher. You're having a panic attack," Luo says, "I'm assuming you can't breathe, and it feels like you can't talk. Your vision's odd and warped and you keep getting hot and cold and hands are around your neck. What I need you to be able to do is one thing--breathe."

Asher chokes. He tries to breathe, but it gets caught in his throat. His knee's buckle and Asher slides down the cupboards and lands on the ground, dragging the telephone down with him. Asher wraps himself around the device, curling his head into his knee's and keeping the phone by his ear.

"Can't breathe?" Luo asks. Asher cries out and Luo says, "Hey, it's alright. It's alright. I'll help you. You can trust me. I'll tell you about my day, okay? Focus on my voice, Asher."

Asher strains his hearing past the creaking bed and listens.

"Me and my partner went for some food for breakfast. Since it's Saturday and they had a day off from their job, we went for a walk with a coffee afterwards and enjoyed a day inside. We lit our fire and sat in some blankets and watched a few movies."

The sense of dread stutters at the thought of _good_ warm. Luo's voice is on just the ride side of croaky, and Asher tilts his head back so it leans against the wooden cupboard to listen more.

"Did you know," Luo says, "that if you try hard enough, you can get through a lot of movies during the day?" An amused aspect comes to her voice as she continues, "My niece was very impressed and set a goal for herself. She wants to pass us and become _The Movie Queen._ We finally got her to settle down and gave her a hot chocolate, luckily, and she's sleeping now, but I believe that in the morning her energy will return." There's a pause and Luo says, "You seem to be breathing better, Asher."

Asher opens his eyes--when had he closed them?--and stares at Hunter in front of him. Luo asks, "Can you tell me five things you can see, Asher?"

Asher takes in a deep breath and says hoarsely, "I...I think so."

"Would you mind doing that for me, then?"

"Yes," Asher says. He gives himself a second to breathe before he continues, "I can see. I can see Hunter, in front of me. I can see a half-empty glass of water on the sink." He trails his eyes around the kitchen slowly, "I can see the light above me. I can see the chairs near the kitchen table. And...and the horrible throw rug Warren keeps around for some reason, over, over on the couch."

"Well done," Luo says, "Can you also tell me four things you can touch or feel right now?"

Asher shakily tilts his head forward to glance around. No one's in the house, and Asher can't hear anything apart from Luo's voice. It should be terrifying, but it's not.

"I can feel the tiles underneath me," Asher says, "They're cold. It's...it's alright, I guess. It helps. I can feel the wire of the telephone and the weight of it in my lap and...and I could," Asher glances around again, tries to breathe. It doesn't work. He tries again. It works. He continues, "I could touch Hunter's fur, if I wanted to."

Luo replies, "Very good, now, what can you hear, Asher?"

Asher snaps his gaze over to the window. It's covered, but Asher can hear bugs and crickets through the window. "I. Bugs," Asher says, "Outside. I can hear bugs outside and I can hear the washing machine in the laundry." _Thump, thump, thump,_ it goes, a repetitive sound that would usually annoy Asher but grounds him in this moment. 

"One more thing, Asher," Luo reminds him supportively. Asher inhales fresh air in and replies, "Your voice."

"Fantastic." Luo says. There's a sound of shifting in the background of her phone and Luo's voice is louder when she speaks again, "How about you tell me two things you can smell, now?"

Asher glances around and says, "I can smell the leftover smell of the stew Safa cooked for her and Warren, I think, and--" Asher looks at Hunter, "and Hunter's... _awful_ dog breath."

Luo chuckles. It's odd to hear the sound from a woman so normally emotionless, and it makes Asher almost jump. Luo continues and asks, "I think I can smell it over the line. And, hey, one more thing--what can you taste, Asher?"

Asher closes his eyes and swirls his tongue around his mouth. "Toothpaste," He says quietly, and that's the end of the countdown.

Luo says, "That was very good. I'm proud of you, Asher."

Asher stays quiet for a second before he says, "Thank you," weakly. He adds, "I'm. I'm sorry for waking you."

"It's alright, Asher," Luo reassures him, "It's important to me that you trust me, and I'm glad you do enough to call me for help."

Asher stares at the sink across and above from him and says, "I owe you now, don't I?"

There's silence for a second before Luo says, "Pardon?"

"I owe you." Asher says. He nods, even if she can't see it, "You told me about your day, so I should. I should tell you about mine."

Asher knows that's not actually how therapy works; you go for help and you get it. There's no such things as repaying or owing or anything. But, if Asher says it like this, then that means he doesn't have to admit to himself that he trusts Luo enough to just tell her about his day because that's what she's for.

For some reason, Luo doesn't question him further. She just says, "If that's what you find fair, then I'm happy to listen."

Asher glances around the room again before speaking, "The two Agents that were put in charge of me came to visit today."

Silence on the other end. Luo giving him his control.

"They." Asher starts. Stops. Continues, "They told me I had two brothers. Two older...twin brothers. Who are alive." Silence, but Asher's sure it's because Luo's actually surprised, "They. They're identical. Called Aaron and Andrew Minyard. Aaron is studying medicine and Andrew's majoring in criminal justice. They're three years older and they're the same height as me."

Asher's throat is closing up for some reason, but not from panic. Something inside him unfurls and spreads throughout his body, but it's light and warm and no longer dark and shadowy.

What _is_ that?

"They play a sport called Exy." Asher says into the kitchen and into his phone. His voice has gone to a weird pitch and his eyes glisten slightly.

A tear slides down his face.

Some sort of chuckle mixed with a sob escapes him and Asher says, "Apparently they're really good."

Ah.

It's happiness.

Strange and odd and weird in all sorts of ways. But equally amazing.

Asher's tears slide down his face and he shoves his head into his elbows as his body shakes. He's crying. But not. Not in a _bad_ way. It's...happy tears? Asher feels like he's feeling a whole lot.

"That's great, Asher," Luo says. Her voice brings him back from the past and future and places him into the present. She asks, "Do you have any plans to meet them?"

_"We'll go and speak with them," Norton says. She glances over the files, "We'll have to drive to PSU, but it should be fine. It might take a while to get back to you, though."_

_"That's fine," Asher says quickly. Too quickly. He tries to tone it down, "I just...you'll ask them?"_

_Takamori nods. "Of course, kid."_

"The Agents are driving to see them now," Asher says, "I...I want to see them."

There's an unspoken _but._ What if they don't like Asher? What if they don't even want to _see_ him? Asher doesn't think he could deal with the rejection, or worse--deal with the possibility of them seeing him and deciding they want to stay in contact. It's enough to live with the thought of Warren and Safa abandoning him everyday; does he really want the weight of Andrew and Aaron's judgement, too?

"Asher," Luo says. Asher blinks and listens, "You try and keep your mind clear, okay? Don't think about what they think of you--think about what _you_ think of _them_ when you meet."

Asher nods once and then twice and gets an, "Alright," out.

Later, when Asher stumbles back into bed, full after Luo managed to convince him to eat something to get his blood sugar going again, Asher lays and stares at the ceiling. He thinks about Takamori and Norton on their way to see his _brothers,_ and falls asleep to the sound of imagining what their voices sound like.

●

_Monday 12th. March 2007._

Andrew did not miss this.

As cliché as it is, Andrew would much prefer to be at Columbia again, wrapped around in the soft sheets with Neil of a morning and driving around aimlessly of the afternoons, gazing at the orange pink sunset with Kevin in the backseat complaining like a neglected child.

He would prefer playing UNO with Nicky and Aaron and he would prefer making hot chocolates with a dry-heaving Kevin and he would prefer long showers with Neil and he would--yeah, you get the idea.

Instead, he's watching the scatter-brained PSU Foxes from his place in the goal, gazing around with boredom as the Freshmen try to get their footing with the team.

There's Jack Crafter: a new striker desperate for Kevin's attention and doing anything to gain it. He's tall and lean and white and the American flag's wet dream--arrogant, stupid and annoying as fuck. His quest for as much as a glance from Kevin has earned him nothing but anger from his teammates and a bang on the plexiglass from Wymack, but he doesn't seem to notice. So far, he's spat about three homophobic insults at Nicky and gave two burning-eye glares to Neil, which tells Andrew all he needs to know.

Jack's new friend is Sheena Walters: a new backliner who keeps messing up Aaron's technique. She's got an annoying buzz in her voice and messy brown hair that keeps falling out of her loose bun. She's glared at Allison many times and snickers when others fail, and keeps looking back over her shoulder to look at Andrew down her nose like it will somehow phase him.

Their new target is Bryan Norris. The kid's got a grisly burn scar that goes along half his face and continues down his neck and most likely down under his shirt, but it's different from Neil's. While Neil's is small and in clear specific shapes, Bryan's is obviously from a wildfire. He's attached himself to Matt's hip to avoid Jack and Sheena's taunts, and Matt doesn't seem to mind as he affectionately wraps an arm around the kid's shoulder.

Andrew doesn't care about those three--it's the last two that _slightly_ hold his attention.

Stray Yoshihara is interesting in the way he met all of the Foxes eyes slowly after stepping into the lounge before he promptly left for the court without saying a word. He's Japanese and has short black hair and is around Kevin's height. He was picked by Wymack to be another new striker. He's supposed to be Jack's partner on court, but so far during this first practice he's just been cleaning up Jack's messes.

Robin Cross is the first and last recruit that Andrew himself has picked. She's got tan skin and black hair and is around Nicky's height. She's the Foxes third goalkeeper and, right now, is being taught by Renee on the other side of the court, though Andrew will be expected to teach her later in the season. Andrew picked her because he saw something in her recruitment file's photo when he saw her: a rabbit, just like Neil.

Wymack's fist lands on the plexiglass and brings the practice to a halt and Andrew's lazy gaze over to him. Wymack meets Andrew's gaze and jabs his thumb over his shoulder before doing the same with Nicky and Aaron.

Andrew follows his point to where the entrance to the court is. A man and a woman stand in the doorway, the woman holding a file. They're wearing black suits and hold serious expressions, though Andrew doesn't miss the way their eyes scan over Aaron and Andrew's faces as if looking for something.

Aaron seems to notice it as well, and in a rare moment of solidarity the twins share a gaze. Nicky runs a hand down his face and sends a questioning look at Aaron before Andrew puts his racquet to the ground and takes the lead to the gate to meet with the people.

Aaron and Nicky follow after him and Andrew glances back at Neil, who snaps his eyes away from the suits and meets Andrew's eyes. Andrew looks away and opens the gate and stops in front of Wymack.

"Coach," He says.

"Andrew," Wymack says wearily. He turns and looks at the woman and asks, "Will this be long?"

"It would be best to continue your practice," The woman says evenly. Wymack nods and spins a finger at the rest of the Foxes, who fall into a hesitant practice. The woman turns on her heels and starts walking and the man looks over the three again before following.

Andrew, Aaron and Nicky walk after them and they all step into the lounge. Andrew takes a seat in his normal spot while the man and woman take the couch across from them, and Nicky and Aaron settle next to Andrew.

"My names Agent Lynn Norton, and this is my colleague Agent Toson Takamori." She starts. She clutches her hand around her necklace and pulls a badge free from under her shirt, clipping it off the chain and sliding it across the small coffee table between them. Takamori follows her lead and pulls his from his pocket and hands it over as well.

Aaron snatches up the badges and scans over them like he could actually differentiate between real and fake, and Nicky looks over his shoulder like he can do the same.

"We work for the Department of Justice," Norton says, "the FBI. We apologise for showing up and interrupting your first practice, and I would like to assure you nobody here is in any sort of trouble."

"Why _are_ you here, then?" Aaron questions, sliding the badges back over. Norton settles her black file onto the table and starts to clip her badge back onto her chain, and Takamori takes the lead of the discussion.

"We actually work around the Boston area, but after recent information we decided it would be best to travel here and deliver this news personally," Takamori says. Andrew looks over at the black file and feels the odd, burning feeling of _curiosity._ The Agent looks at Aaron and then Andrew and takes a slow, deep breath and says, "Were you two aware that Tilda Minyard had another child three years after the birth of you two?"

There's silence from the three relatives for a second. Andrew knows his face reveals nothing, but something in his brain pops and something in his stomach churns and something in his mind melts because.

Because _what._

Aaron's entire body goes stiff, making the couch twitch, and Nicky makes the sound of a dying, electrocuted cat.

Andrew's never used the word _gobsmacked_ in his life, but, well, he's pretty sure he's gobsmacked. Because... _what_?

"What?" Nicky manages to say, his eyes wide and staring at the black file. Andrew and Aaron do the same, because whoever Tilda had must be in there, right?

Something inside Andrew rears it's head forward and he reaches out and grabs the file. Norton lets him, but Takamori sends him a disapproving look. He doesn't open it straight away, just stares at it instead.

He hands it over to Aaron so Nicky will be able to see, and Aaron too stares at it before he slowly peels the file open. There's a single piece of paper, and Andrew reads it over with his heart thumping in his chest.

> **NAME** _Asher Doe Foster_
> 
> **DOB** _15/01/19869_
> 
> _18_
> 
> **HGT** _5'0_
> 
> _Boston University, Boston Massachusetts, Margaret Jarvis._
> 
> _English Lang & Lit. First Year - Freshmen, 18 - 19._
> 
> **RELATIVES**
> 
> _Unknown Mother -_ Mother - Unknown
> 
>  _Unknown Father_ \- Father - Unknown
> 
>  _Elaine Foster_ \- Adoptive Mother - Deceased
> 
>  _Hayley Foster_ \- Adoptive Sister - Deceased
> 
>  _Safa Ross_ \- Current Acting Adoptive Sister - Alive
> 
>  _Warren Ross_ \- Current Acting Guardian \- Alive

Andrew stares at the file.

That's it?

There's no photo of... _Asher,_ just those blank filed words that can only mean so much. Andrew gazes at it and turns his eyes on the Agents.

Before he can question for an image of his...his younger brother, Nicky asks, "How did his mother and sister die?"

Takamori and Norton share a look, and Andrew avoids letting his anger spark on his face. By the looks of it, something is being hidden.

"Elaine died of natural causes," Takamori says, "Hayley's situation is more difficult to explain."

"There's no photo," Aaron murmurs. He glances up and looks between the two Agents before demanding, "Why is there no photo? Why is her situation 'difficult'?"

"Asher recently went through an extremely horrible incident." Norton replies, not reacting to Aaron's tone at all. "We are in no position to explain to you what occurred, but if you do decide to meet with Asher, I'm sure he will eventually tell you the details."

Andrew feels cold. He flatly repeats, "Horrible incident."

Because what does that mean? What the _fuck_ does that mean?

Andrew should have known that the Minyard's family wouldn't stop with just two. If he was given up, then Tilda wouldn't have cared if she gave up another one. And now some other kid has gone through foster care and been through a 'horrible incident' and--

Andrew should've known.

Norton meets Andrew's gaze and Takamori frowns and gazes at the ground. Nicky's frozen on the other side of the couch. Aaron goes to speak again but Norton holds a finger up and continues, "We have a picture of Asher, but I saved it to show you for last because it could have possibly been too much for you all to see at the start."

Andrew is going to explode. 'Too much.' ' _Too much.'_

She brings a photo from her pocket, glances down at it, and hands it out. Aaron immediately takes it, placing the black folder onto the coffee table, and the three huddle in to look at it.

It's a medium sized photo so Andrew doesn't have to squint to see what's so wrong.

Nicky flinches back and whispers, "What?"

Asher is obviously a Minyard. You could tell by first glance. He's got the pale skin, the blonde hair, the mean jaw, the narrowed hazel eyes and the violent eyebags.

However, there are things that are different from Andrew and Aaron. His face is more longer and less wider than Aaron and Andrew's, and his hair touches his cheekbones while Kevin forces Andrew and Aaron to keep theirs short for Exy. Asher also looks as though he lacks muscle, more skinny and bony, possibly. His freckles are just over his nose, but well, those certainly weren't what made Nicky flinch back.

The scars were.

Andrew's seen his fair share of scars. Between his own, Matt's track marks, Kevin's hand and Neil's Greek tragedy body, he's probably had enough to last him a lifetime. However, the ones that mark Asher's face are.

Incredibly obvious.

Andrew doesn't know how to describe it. With Neil's burn and crisscross face scars, you could see them as a trick-of-the-light, but there's no hiding the terrible Glasgow smile that stretches from Asher's lips to his ears, decorated with vertical lines to make it almost look like a glow-in-the-dark Halloween skeleton mask or make-up.

There's also no hiding the thick dark lines that cross down his forehead to his cheeks symmetrically, luckily avoiding his eyes. Aaron's fingers shake from where they're coiled around the photo, and Andrew understands.

Who did this to Asher, and _why_?

"I'm sure you want to know who did this to him," Norton says, "But just know I cannot tell you and I hope that saying Asher is safe is enough for now."

Andrew stares at the photo and drags his eyes over to the Agents. He makes sure to keep his face expressionless as he asks, "What is his home situation?"

"Asher's been staying with family friends Warren and Safa Ross," Takamori answers, "He works at Warren's store with him, and Safa has a job as a mechanic. You have no reason to worry; they're very good people."

Andrew stares at him, because _what._ Andrew's not fucking _worried--_ he just needs to _know_ that this kid's safe. He _has_ to.

Nicky opens and closes his mouth and Aaron says through gritted teeth, "Do you have a phone number?"

"When can we meet him?" Nicky questions, and Takamori pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket.

Andrew takes it from him and Takamori says, "That's Warren's number. Asher doesn't have a phone because he's only been out of hospital for around two weeks and, well," Takamori pauses and seems to taste his words before continuing, "the kid's pretty untrustworthy of things right now."

The Agent glances up at them, "You guys all found each other at a pretty rough time. I don't know how he's going to act around you, but he was pretty excited to see you, but he's also been through a lot."

Asher was excited to see... _them_?

Andrew clenches his jaw.

Takamori adds, "Be careful with him, and call Warren whenever you're free so you can set up a meeting sometime soon, alright?"

Nicky nods for the three of them and then Norton nods back with a, "Thank you for your time," and then the two Agents are stepping out of the lounge and leaving.

The three sit in complete, still silence for a long time. Andrew doesn't know what to think. One second his mind is empty, and the next he's thinking _how_ , and _when,_ and _who_ and it feels like something is physically punching him in the gut with each thought.

Aaron's still staring at the photo as if pure determined will alone will pull Asher from it, but somehow Nicky manages to drag himself to his feet and get their attention.

"On your feet," Nicky says weakly. He looks...tired. "Better not keep Coach waiting."

The twins stand up and follow Nicky out, and the court quiets as soon as they step foot in it. Andrew immediately catches Neil's gaze and holds it for a second so a breath can finally push free, and Wymack holds a hand to still practice before taking long strides to them.

"What the fuck was that about?" Wymack demands, but then he pauses the start of a gruff lecture when he see's whatever expression they're wearing. "To the lounge?" He asks instead, and Nicky nods wordlessly and distantly.

Wymack waves the Foxes over and they all begin to walk back into the lounge. Neil takes his usual spot by Andrew's side on the way back and says nothing, a silent support wall even if he doesn't realise it.

They settle into the lounge and Wymack crosses his arms over his chest, Abby joining him by his side. It takes a few seconds for the Freshmen to quiet down their rowdy antics, but the upperclassmen are silent as they read the tension in the twins and Nicky's frames.

"Well?" Wymack asks and Aaron stares at the photo some more before he slowly hands it over to the man.

Abby looks over at it as well and pales swiftly. No emotion crosses Wymack's face except for a furrow in his brow and the smallest widening of his eyes.

"Oh," Abby says softly, and Neil tenses by Andrew's side, no doubt dying to know what has happened. Andrew blinks at the ground slowly and watches as Wymack looks at Aaron and Andrew and then at the picture.

"His..." Aaron says quietly. The room is deadly silent. "His name is Asher."

"What?" Jack demands, nosy, from his place on the wall.

Wymack stares at Andrew as if that will make him explain, and then looks at Nicky who hesitantly starts speaking. "They." He starts. He licks his lips and breathes in once before going on, "The two people were FBI Agents from Boston, said their names were Norton and Takamori. I think they're the ones that figured out Andrew and Aaron are related to Asher."

Some of the Foxes start murmuring in shock and Andrew holds his hand out for the photo. Wymack passes it to him and Andrew hands it to Neil, who is immediately swarmed by people wanting to catch a look.

There's silence before Matt half-heartedly says, "Those Minyard genes sure are strong, huh?"

"Who did that to his face?" Allison demands.

Nicky shrugs helplessly and says, "We know as much as you do."

"Which is what?" Neil asks. He looks at Andrew, so Andrew finally speaks.

"He's 18, goes to Boston University. Studies English Language and Literature and recently went through a horrible incident." He glances at Aaron, "He's already been told about us and is open to a meeting."

"How do you get in contact?" Wymack asks.

Andrew uses his pointer and middle finger to pinch the piece of paper with Warren Ross's phone number on it and flips it to show Wymack. Wymack nods and glances around at Nicky, Aaron and Andrew.

"You guys good to go on?" The man questions, "I reckon practice will survive without you three."

Abby sends Wymack a disapproving look, but Nicky interrupts whatever discipline Wymack was about to receive. "I'm good to practice," Nicky says. Andrew recognises this. It's his need to do something, _anything,_ when he feels hopeless.

"Nicky," Kevin says by his place near the door, "Don't practice if you aren't up for it."

Some of the Foxes look at Kevin in surprise, but Andrew recognises this, too. It's Kevin's odd way of using Exy to ask people if they're alright.

Aaron gets the photo back from Dan and stands up and stares at the wall for a second before leaving the room briskly. Andrew looks at Neil once before following after his twin, and somehow the two end up at the student café.

They sit and stew in silence for a long time under the curious gaze of the cashier until Aaron asks with a rough voice, "What do you think he's like?"

Andrew stares at the wall and lets heartbeats pass before saying, "Don't craft your impression yet."

A bitter chuckle escapes Aaron and Andrew looks at him, heavy-lidded. "Who the fuck..." Aaron says, "did that to him?"

Andrew doesn't answer this time because he doesn't know hat to say. Instead, he steers the conversation in a different direction and asks, "Did Tilda ever spend long moments away?"

Aaron's eyes snap over and meet his, and he says, "What?"

Andrew normally wouldn't explain his question, but the day is a weird day. He expands on his thought with, "We are only three years older than Asher. You would not have remembered if he was born, but if Asher shares the same father as us then Tilda couldn't have had Asher in South Carolina. She would have left to meet out father again and then been gone for at least ten months, and Asher would have born away from here and in Boston."

Aaron stares at him and then looks at the wall and then at the cashier who quickly turns away. Aaron opens and closes his mouth and says, "She would leave me alone with her boyfriends and friends for days or even weeks, but never that long." There was a moments pause before Aaron quietly admits, "But I wouldn't put it past her."

Andrew nods once and then silence overtakes them.

●

The dorm room light is on when Andrew returns.

The twins spent the afternoon at the café, gazing at nothing and lost in their own worlds. The cashier eventually gave them free pity cakes that got them to stay for longer, and now it's late enough that it's dark out and Andrew makes his way inside the room.

It's silent, which means Kevin and Nicky must be asleep. It's possible that Neil's still awake, especially with the light on, and Andrew confirms this when he looks into the kitchen and see's the red-head filling up a glass of water.

Neil's eyes find him immediately. "Hey," He says quietly.

Andrew steps forward and nudges his elbow with his own. The day has been long and tiring and his temple pounds from overthinking about Asher.

"Hey," He replies. Neil turns to face him fully.

He knows better than to ask Andrew if he's okay, so instead he asks, "Are you going to set up a meeting?"

"Yes," Andrew says.

He knows Neil didn't mean for him to do it now, but Andrew pulls out his phone anyway and reads over the paper as he dials the number. Neil's eyes widen slightly and Andrew puts the phone to his ear and listens to the ringing tune.

And then it clicks, and a voice says, "Warren Ross speaking."

●

_Monday 12th. March 2007._

Asher thinks his eyes are going to go square from how close he is to the television, but he can't help it.

For some reason there's a channel dedicated to showing reruns or live games of College-level Exy, and Asher hasn't stopped watching the old PSU Fox matches all day. His eyes have been glued to Andrew and Aaron's forms as they play game after game and he can't help but allow his face to get a small smile whenever Andrew blocks a goal, whenever Aaron slams someone to the ground.

He feels like a stupid small child, but Asher doesn't _care._ He has to _see_ them.

And, besides, Exy almost seems _familiar_. He used to play street games when he was around ten to thirteen, and he's pretty sure Exy was one of them, renamed _Stickball_ by the local children. He was a quiet kid and would have preferred to read or stay inside, but sports was also an excuse to get out of the houses and away from the families he was stuck with.

Warren stepping into the loungeroom brings his attention from the television and over to him. The man glances at the tv before saying, "Mind pausing that?"

Asher can't pause it, so instead he just turns it off. Warren raises an eyebrow but continues anyway and says, "Me and Safa had some ideas and thought we'd run them by you."

Asher tilts his head for him to go on, and Warren says, "If your meeting with Aaron and Andrew goes well, we were thinking that we could all get a place at South Carolina, y'know? It's getting way too expensive up here and there's plenty of places for me and Safa to find work, and you could go to PSU if you wanted. Since it's the start of the year it's not too early to change schools, either, and you'd get to see your brothers way more often if we lived in there."

Asher blinks at him and stares.

That is a, admittedly, good idea. Asher could see his brothers. Warren could get a better job. Safa could have more opportunities.

But. That's. That's also a lot of changes, isn't it?

Asher's heart stops and starts after a second at the thought of life changing so quick. It's such a stupid thing to panic about, but Asher feels his bones turn to jelly because of the thought. And, besides, this is all riding on the idea that Andrew and Aaron _like_ Asher--and, well, what if they don't?

What if Safa and Warren get disappointed and leave anyway and Asher get's stuck again and-- _breathe._ Breathe.

Asher nods tightly and Warren nods back once. His eyebrows furrow, but the man doesn't push for once and instead turns back to the kitchen. Asher stares at the black tv screen and looks at his reflection before forcing a breath out.

And then a phone rings, and Warren starts speaking back, and Asher slowly turns to look at Warren.

"Andrew Minyard, you said your name was?" Warren asks, meeting Asher's gaze, and Asher's heart grows wings and beats from his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed! please be sure to read through this note. 
> 
> the next chapter will possibly take a couple weeks to come out, as I’ve been getting some pains around my hands and wrists, so I’ll be taking a break and having a check-up :)
> 
> no need to worry too much, though, I just wanted to make sure everyone knows why the next chapter will take a while!
> 
> thanks so much for reading! feel free to check out my other AFTG works and have a great day/night!  
> —  
> come yell with me on tumblr — [@lacuniaa](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/lacuniaa)  
> & check out my twitter!! — [@lacuniaa](https://twitter.com/lacuniaa%E2%80%9D%7Clacuniaa%7C/a%7C)


	3. our world's collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher meets Andrew, Aaron and Nicky. AKA, two worlds collide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! here's chapter three. thanks so much for all the lovely comments and excitement!
> 
> previously on:  
> After finding out about Andrew and Aaron, Asher has been watching their Exy matches and has had his small worries cleared by Luo's advice. Meanwhile, the twins and Nicky have found out about Asher and wish to meet him. Warren's told Asher about his plan to move to Palmetto if the meeting with Andrew, Aaron and Nicky goes well, and they all begin to prepare for the day they see each other.
> 
> chapter warnings:  
> // mention of death, description of injuries/scars, mention of kidnapping and events in it, mention of rape/non-con, mention of force-feeding, paranoia and swearing. // 
> 
> please contact me on my tumblr (lacuniaa) if you feel i need more warnings! 
> 
> enjoy!

**chapter three:** _our world's collision_

_Monday 12th. March 2007._

Asher manages to catch his flying heart and takes in a sharp breath as Warren waits for Andrew's answer.

"Ah," The man says after a moment's pause. Asher allows himself the tiniest amount of jealousy. Warren is speaking with his _brother._ His brother. Asher shoves the emotion deep down and watches as Warren nods to himself and continues with, "You've found out, then?"

_Found out_ , Asher's mind echoes. His family has found out about him. It's an odd feeling to be known, because how did they react? Happiness? Confusion? Disgust? Have they seen his face? Are they scared or are they curious?

Warren gazes at the wall as Andrew replies with something, and then the man looks over at Asher and says, "Hold on, let me ask him." He cups a hand over his phone as he removes it from his ear and asks, "He's asking if you're here. Wanna speak with him, or no?"

For a second, Asher _does._ He wants to hear Andrew's voice and gouge out his words and understand his tone and _listen_. But as he reaches his hand out, it freezes in mid-air and Asher feels his lungs turn to frost.

Because what if the phone isn't trustworthy? What if somebody is listening in? They could hear Asher's voice...they could _find_ him and take him again and Asher, he can't have that, he _won't have that--_

"No," Asher says quietly. He retracts his hand and wraps his other one around it and _squeezes_ to get it to stop shaking.

He won't be taken again, not matter how much he wants to speak with Andrew.

Warren looks at him calmly for a second before he nods in understanding, and Asher wants to demand why, but his voice won't work and the man just simply says, "Sorry, but I think he's in the shower right now," like it's nothing.

Asher stares at him and stops breathing as Andrew says something and then Warren says, "A meeting date? Hm."

Meeting date. Meeting date. _Meeting date._

"You free this Thursday? I won't be able to drive him down all the way to Palmetto, so would you guys be alright coming down to Boston? There's a diner called _Hargrove's_ on pearls street, if you're alright with the long drive." Warren says, and Asher blinks in surprise. Warren's asking _them_ to drive the 14 hours between Boston and South Carolina? What if that makes them put the whole meeting off?

Warren waits as Andrew says something, and then replies with, "I reckon lunch is all good. I'll speak with him and then message you if everything's all set." There's another pause and then Warren says, "Yup. Have a good one."

He hangs up and looks at Asher and raises an eyebrow. "You good, kid?"

Asher blinks and glances away, to the wall. He clears his throat roughly and looks back at Warren and buries his emotions in a coffin before saying, "Yes," changing the subject quickly with, "Why did you get them to come here instead?"

Warren gives him an odd look and crosses his arms, "Because I thought it'd be more comfortable for you. You've never been out of Massachusetts, and being somewhere familiar will probably feel a lot more better."

Asher can't help but stare at the man. It's so hard to believe people care about him, because surely that means they won't leave? He doesn't know what look he's making, and he tries to hide it, but to no avail.

"Was I wrong?" Warren asks.

Asher shakes his head slowly and turns around, "No. No. No, I just--"

"Kid." Warren says. Asher looks back at him and closes his eyes for a heartbeat before opening them again. Warren isn't looking at him anymore, gazing at the wall instead. The man continues slowly, "I...I care about your comfort, so don't." He pauses and meets Asher's eyes, "Don't go thinking I don't, alright?"

Asher's throat closes up so he nods dumbly instead. Warren nods back and asks, "So. Thursday fifteenth, around lunch time at _Hargrove's._ Good?"

"Good," Asher gets out after two tries, and when Warren picks his phone up to supposedly text Andrew, Asher turns and heads upstairs.

He enters Safa's room and opens his mouth to speak, but he closes it, unsure. The girl's back is to him from where she's seated on the side of the bed, facing the window that gazes out into the darkness of the late night. Hunter's spread out on the bed, sleeping.

Safa doesn't seem to be doing anything other than just...looking, and Asher knocks on the door frame to alert her before walking in. She doesn't look as he takes a seat next to her, and they stare outside in silence for a minute or two.

Eventually, Safa opens her mouth to speak. She quietly says, "Don't go running off with them if they turn out to like them better, alright?"

Asher glances at her. She must have heard his and Warren's conversation. He feels like he should be more panicked over Safa's small 'command' but there's nothing other than a small burst of...comfort? Asher gazes at her out of the corner of his before looking away.

"I won't," Asher answers, and realises he actually means it. He won't run off on Safa or Warren--they've taken care of him and continue to do so, for some reason. He didn't realise Safa had this fear, but he guesses it may just be as silly as his own.

Safa nods slowly and then says, "I think it might be good to get out of Boston," She adds, "To get away from the bad memories. And everything."

"Yeah," Asher says weakly. Once again that small fear of not being liked by Andrew, Aaron and Nicky enters his mind and he can't help but say, "I don't want to disappoint you two though."

Safa finally turns her eyes from the window and over to him. "What?"

Asher takes a breath and elaborates with a twinge of sadness. "What if they don't like me? You and Warren have centered your plans around if the meeting goes well, so what if I mess it up and then...mess everything else up?"

Silence. Safa gazes at him, heavy-lidded and says, "Don't. Don't shoulder the blame." She looks outside the window again. "There's plenty of places in the world, Asher. We can always go somewhere else."

Asher stares at her and blinks once, twice, thrice before looking away with a weighty nod. The room is quiet sans Hunter's deep sleep rumbles, and Asher musters up the courage and whispers out, "How are you dealing with Hayley's death?"

It's. It's hard to think about Hayley. Asher thinks it always will be. She became his sister when Elaine took him in when he was 14, and Elaine's death itself was hard enough to deal with. But, at least with Elaine's death he could _grieve_.

With Hayley's it was like a sledgehammer to the face. She was dead one second and then the next all Asher could think about was staying alive in that godforsaken cabin with Jonathon, and he didn't have _any_ time to process her not being with him anymore.

He can't even process it now.

Asher blinks and Safa replies with nothing. She shrugs an arm up in the now impossibly tight room, and Asher changes the subject quickly, "Can you help me remove my stitches?"

Safa nods and they leave for the bathroom. Asher seats himself up on the counter and fists a hand in the fabric of his shirt while Safa gets the tweezers and scissors out. He should probably go to the doctor to get them out, but Warren taught Safa basic medical kit things when she was younger, so it's safe to get Safa to get them out.

However, Asher hesitates with his shirt. Both Warren and Safa have seen his scars from when he was in the hospital recovering, but it doesn't make it any easier. He feels like he should clean himself several times and cover himself in paint before he lets them see the ugly marks again, but Safa's calm voice brings him from his thoughts.

"Hey," She says quietly, "It's alright. You're fine."

Asher closes his eyes painfully and strips his shirt off.

His larger scars like the ones on his face, chest, collarbone, thighs, back, wrists and ankles are scars purely because he got them mostly during the start of his eight weeks. They had time to heal roughly, the cuts and stab wounds and burns stitched and bandaged together by Jonathon's hands so Asher wouldn't bleed out.

He only has stitches right now due to the recent strikes from the last week, and they should really be out by now but Asher has been putting it off. He would have down it himself as well, but his fingers still ache at times and some areas would be out of reach.

Safa works in silence as she takes out the stitches from around his neck, legs, waist and left arm. Although her touch is light and whispering, Asher can't help the flinches and bile in his throat from the warmth of the skin and feeling of the flesh. He tries to think about the warmth of anything else--blankets, drinks, showers, but all he can feel is hot breath on his neck and a tongue on the side of his face and fingers digging into his skin.

Safa finishes quickly, and Asher opens his eyes and blinks at the ground before looking at her. She has sad eyes and a frowning mouth. Her and Warren both know Jonathon...touched him, but they don't know the extent. All they've seen is a positive rape kit marked on his medical report.

She takes in a shaky breath and runs a hand down her face before shaking her head. Asher slides his shirt back on and Safa says, "You need more groceries for tomorrow night," as she packs the tweezers and scissors away. She puts the stitches into the bin and Asher nods at her.

He goes to leave but Safa clears her throat. Asher glances at her and she looks down at her hands and then at him. She hesitantly asks, "Why don't you like eating meat?"

"I..." Asher says. He snaps his gaze away and breaths through his nose sharply. He closes his eyes. Breathes. Opens them. Turns back to Safa. He owes her for her help and he answers, "He. He would. He would make me..." Asher swallows sickly and manages to speak, "He would make me eat...cat food and. And dog food." He brings a hand up to his jaw. "He would hold my mouth open and make me swallow and..."

Asher rips his gaze away from her horrified face and stares at the ground with wide-eyes. He continues slowly, "It's not that I don't _like_ meat...it's just I can't anymore. The texture," He cringes and shuts his eyes. "The texture is too similar."

Safa sounds faraway and distant when she weakly says, "Okay."

Asher places a cold hand on the door frame. It feels like his chest has been ripped open and he stares out the hallway, taking in an acidic breath. He can feel Safa's gaze on the back of his head, and her voice rips through the fuzz in his head when she says, "I'm gonna go to a 24/7 shop and get a milkshake, if you want in."

Milkshakes aren't even remotely warm, but maybe something cold will clear the burning in him. He can't speak for some reason, so he just nods and gazes at her. Safa nods back and tilts her head with a, "Go grab a jumper and we'll get going."

Asher nods again and leaves. He enters his room--his hands _won't stop shaking_ \--and grabs a black hoodie and shoves it over his head and down his body before following Safa downstairs. Hunter's joined Warren downstairs in the loungeroom, where the man's stretched out on the couch. He has his tablet in his hand and his reading glasses on, using one finger to scroll through a kindle book while Hunter gets comfortable on the ground beside him.

Warren glances up as they put their shoes on in the entry-way. "Where you headed?"

"Milkshakes." Safa says simply.

Warren meets Asher's eyes and blinks before nodding and saying, "Ah. Get me a strawberry one."

Safa nods and Asher manages to murmur, "Aka the worst flavour."

Safa lets out a shocked and surprised snort and Warren points a warning finger at Asher before the two head out.

The night is cold and the milkshakes are even colder, but at least he can breathe again.

●

Andrew hangs up after Warren's, " _Have a good one_."

He meets Neil's inquisitive gaze and murmurs, "Thursday. Lunch time at Boston."

The date of the meeting echoes in Andrew's mind repeatedly, over and over again. He doesn't know what he's feeling, if he's feeling anything at all--all he knows is that he's going to be seeing his younger brother in around three days.

Three days.

It feels like a heartbeat, but it also feels like forever.

"Long drive." Neil says. He reaches down and places a finger near Andrew's, and Andrew skips the space between them and laces their hands together.

Andrew raises his gaze from their fingers and up to blue eyes and nods once. They both look over when the bedroom door opens and Nicky stumbles out from it.

He smiles sleepily and weakly at them before waddling over. "Thought I heard you two," He says. He stumbles over for a glass of water and Neil abandons Andrew when Nicky almost topples over to help him.

Andrew watches as Neil fills the cup for him and avoids Nicky's grabby hands. Neil hands it over to the man and he drinks the whole glass in one go.

"Thursday," Andrew says. Nicky looks at him, blinks, and then slams the cup down with wide-eyes. Kevin makes a baying whale sound from inside the room, and Andrew almost spends a second to wonder how the most heavy-sleeping man on Earth startled at that.

"Thursday?" Nicky questions. He looks at Andrew and then at Neil and says, "We--Asher? We're meeting him on Thursday?"

Andrew says, "Yes. We're driving down to Boston and meeting at a diner for lunch."

Nicky blinks and stares at his cup. He nods a few times shakily before stumbling back for his bed, and Andrew looks at Neil, who asks, "What was Warren like?"

Andrew understands his question. Neil knows Andrew wants to know more about Asher's home life, and this is his invitation for Andrew to explain what he thinks so far. Andrew hums and says, "Sounds like Wymack."

Neil gives Andrew a soft, tired smile. Both of their smiles are so rare to see, Andrew's almost nonexistent, and something about Neil's always sends Andrew's stomach to cartwheels. God. He's insufferable.

"If we have any luck," Neil says, "Maybe he is."

Andrew's phone pings and he glances down at it. _He's agreed to the meeting_ says Warren's message, and Andrew leaves it on seen so he can plant a kiss on the side of Neil's face. Neil sighs and Andrew sends an _Okay_ back.

Neil goes to head to the bedroom and glances at Andrew when he doesn't follow. Andrew tilts his head to the door and says, "Aaron," and Neil nods and enters the room. Andrew leaves the dorm and heads down past some doors before landing in front of Aaron's door.

There's some ratchet video game music coming from inside the dorm, but it pauses at his knock. Aaron and Matt's dorm has expanded it's capacity to Matt, Aaron _and_ Bryan, so there's a one out of three chance Andrew will get to speak to Aaron immediately and not have to put up with Bryan's terror or Matt's horrible attempt at bro-small-talk.

Turns out it's not his night. Bryan answers the door and immediately jumps at the sight of Andrew. Andrew's not even sure what he's even done to put the fear of god into the freshmen, but Bryan is already looking like he's about to piss himself in the millisecond he's seen him.

"Aaron," Andrew says, not eager to wait, and Bryan looks over his shoulder to meet eyes with Matt.

"Minyard," Matt greets. He's seated on a beanbag and has a hood over his face, dorito crumbs all over his fingers and splayed over his remote controller.

"Matt," Andrew says, "Aaron."

"Downstairs, I think. Said he was gonna call Katelyn."

Andrew leaves briskly and heads downstairs, not bothering to use the elevator. His feet echo and thump throughout the building, and he pauses on the last step as he spots Aaron. His twin is leaning against the glass door, looking outside at the parking lot. He's on the phone, but his murmured words of, "Talk soon. Love you," tell him he's about to be off.

Aaron's no doubt heard him, but even as he hangs up he continues to gaze outside. Andrew looks above him before slowly walking to his brother's side, and together they look at the parking lot.

"Thursday," Andrew murmurs. "We leave Wednesday."

Aaron nods and says, "We'll have to keep him out of the spotlight. The journalists will try and find him if we let this out." He clenches his fist and murmurs, "Fucking hounds."

Andrew doesn't say anything other than a nod, so--together--they stand in silence.

●

_Tuesday 13th. March 2007._

Before morning practice, Andrew tells the Foxes.

Wymack nods and Abby gives them a good-luck, Nicky the only one to receive her hug. Dan nods tightly and Matt gives Aaron a pat on the back, which Aaron surprisingly doesn't brush off. Neil meets his eyes and Kevin's lips purse, and Renee gives Andrew a supportive eye. Allison frowns a little and glances out the window, probably still curious about Asher's scars due to her nosiness.

Jack and Sheena don't seem to care at all, but they both can't hide the fact that they're listening. Robin and Bryan have both equal looks of nervousness, and Stray continues staring down at the floor.

Andrew, Aaron and Nicky will leave at around 6 am on Wednesday, which will get them to Boston at around 8 pm that night. Leaving that early will allow them to get a hotel at Boston and rest before the lunch with Asher, but Andrew's not sure if he'll be able to knowing his long lost brother is in the same city as him.

The twins will have to miss their usual Wednesday afternoon session with Betsy, but Andrew knows priority when it punches him in the face. All he can hope is that the meeting with Asher goes well.

●

_Wednesday 14th. March 2007._

"Why do you need _this_ much stuff?" Kevin complains as he shoves Nicky's things into the Maserati. "You're staying for a _night_."

Nicky waves a hand at him. "Maybe, maybe not. Just get on with it, Day!"

Kevin starts kicking at Nicky's things and Nicky rushes over, Aaron joining in with the wrestle when his own things start to fall. Lights start to flicker on in the Fox Tower due to their loud voices at 6 in the morning, but the three don't seem to notice.

Andrew gives them a sharp look for their mistreatment of the Maserati, but Neil's hand on his neck brings his attention back to his boyfriend.

"How you feeling?" Neil asks. He begins to smooth Andrew's hair like he's a mother sending her son off for his first job interview, but Andrew would think the theme is much darker this time.

Andrew doesn't know how to reply, so he just hums instead. Neil hums back and Andrew watches as Stray runs past them, probably going on a morning run or some shit. Nicky cheers and tries to wave the freshman over, but he just looks at them and turns around and runs in the other direction. Nicky guffaws.

"Don't ask any invasive questions," Neil reminds Andrew. Andrew gazes at his lips, heavy-lidded, as he speaks. "Let Asher learn to trust you first."

"The questions worked with you," Andrew tells him, and Neil gives him a _look._ A window flies open and someone screams at them with a, "Shut the fuck up!", ruining the moment.

Kevin turns and looks up at them, incensed. He looks like he's about to yell back, but Aaron shoves him out of the way and nods to Andrew. "That's our cue," He says, and Andrew looks back at Neil.

"Good luck," Neil says.

"Thought you only believed in the bad sort," Andrew says, and Neil shuts him up with a kiss. They separate when Nicky starts wolf-whistling, and Andrew nods at Kevin and says to Neil, "Take care of him."

Neil salutes. "No horror movies before bed and asleep by 9. Got it."

"I am not a child," Kevin admonishes, so Andrew gets in the car and slams his door shut so the rest of Kevin's argument is non-verbal. Nicky gets into the passenger seat and Aaron sits in the back, and then the roar of the Maserati is their goodbye.

And then they're off.

●

_Thursday 14th. March 2007._

Asher stares at the diner.

He's in the truck with Warren, the man allowing them to sit in silence as they wait for Andrew, Aaron and Nicky. Asher's half-afraid they won't show up, and half-afraid they _will_ because he's scared.

He's so scared. It feels like just even breathing will make him vomit, and his hands won't stay still so he's been lent a rubber band to fiddle with. Asher's eyes flick to the sky, to the diner, to the parking lot and then back again. He talked to Luo yesterday and she tried to give him advice about when he see's them, but it's too hard to focus on her words right now.

"You good?" Warren asks, taking a slow sip of his coffee.

Asher stays quiet. He breathes through his nose and lets his leg jump, and then digs his nails into his thigh to stop it after a minute passes. The words jump out of him so fast they make Warren jolt, "You said Thursday, right?"

Warren looks at him. "Yes."

"Yes?" Asher asks, "You're sure?"

"Yes," Warren says slowly, "I'm sure."

"Okay." Asher murmurs. He looks away again and bites his lip and digs his fingernails into his palms and _waits._

Why is waiting so painful?

"Hey," Warren says gruffly. Asher meets his eyes and the man says, "It's gonna be alright, kid."

Asher nods stiffly and gazes down at his feet, but quickly looks up again as a roar booms through the parking lot. Warren takes his sunglasses off and they stare as a black Maserati drives in and neatly parks away from them.

"Son of a bitch," Warren mutters, "He wasn't lying."

Asher stares at the car and then looks at Warren and then back again. He wants to ask if _that's_ their car, but he suddenly can't breathe because _he's about to meet them._

The Maserati shuts off and the door opens, and out slips Andrew Minyard from the driver's seat. Asher holds his breath as he observes him. He's the same height as Asher and has the messy blonde hair as he did in the photo. He's wearing all black and gazes around with alert--but somehow bored and heavy-lidded--eyes.

Aaron Minyard steps out of the backseat, his eyes squinting against the cold white sun. He looks exactly like Andrew, sans the outfit, his the tiniest bit more colourful. Nicky Hemmick comes out from the passenger seat, holding a thoughtful expression as he looks around. He's definitely the one with the least guarded expression, but he still holds himself tense.

Asher stares at them. All it would take for them to see him is a quick look into the windshield of Warren's truck. How are they going to react when they see him? This is nerve-racking.

"I'm going to throw up," Asher says quietly. His stomach is eating itself.

Warren looks at him. "No you're not." He nods his head out to the three, "You're gonna go say hello, and you're gonna have a good time. Alright?"

Asher blinks and shakes his head once and then twice. He breathes out, "I can't do this."

"Asher."

Asher bites his tongue and grits his jaw and Warren says, "Hey, look at me."

The blonde slowly turns his gaze on the man and stares into his eyes, and Warren simply says, "Everything is gonna be okay."

_Asher can't wait to get out of the hospital. He can't wait to get away from everybody else._

_Out in the waiting room, Warren and Safa Ross meet his eyes and give him soft and hard expressions. Asher's heart thumps in sync with his steps when he goes to meet them, and Warren looks down at him and says, "Everything is gonna be okay."_

_Asher hopes with all his heart that he's right._

Asher closes his eyes, tugs in a deep breath and nods. "Okay," He whispers, and then he opens the door and steps out at the same time Warren does.

Okay.

Nicky's eyes catch them immediately. He looks over Warren for half a second before his eyes latch onto Asher, scanning him head-to-toe with precision. He looks over the scars on his face--the only ones visible--and the corner of his mouth tugs into a light frown before a wide, friendly grin takes over his mouth. Asher blinks because, well, Nicky put on his own mask with way too much ease.

_Can't trust him, can't trust him,_ chorus's in his mind, but Asher puts a metal fence around his brain to ignore the paranoia creeping inside the crevices of him.

Nicky waves excitedly, and then Andrew and Aaron's attention comes over to Warren and Asher like a moth to flame. Aaron's eyes hold fire in them when he gazes over Asher's scars, but it turns to ash when they meet each others eyes and something softens in his expression before vanishing. Andrew's eyes are hard and heavy as they look Asher over, and they attach themselves to Warren, gazing over him assessing and calculatingly. It's easy to tell the difference between the two after watching so many of their games and interviews.

Asher feels himself tense as they come to a stop in front of them, and they all gaze and stare at each other.

After a moment's pause, Warren holds a hand out and says, "Warren Ross."

"Nicky Hemmick," Nicky introduces himself. He shakes Warren's hand and adds, "These are my cousin's, Andrew and Aaron Minyard."

"I figured," Warren says dryly before looking at Asher, "I'll pick you up at around 1:30. Good?"

That gives them around an hour and a half to get to know each other.

"Good," Asher manages to murmur, not taking his eyes off his brothers. _Brothers._

Warren nods and then after another glance at Asher he's gone, and Asher feels himself become the center of attention. Andrew seems bored, but he doesn't blink at all. Aaron is the opposite, blinking several times in disbelief while Nicky's weak smile starts to waver the more they stand in silence.

"Should we..." Asher starts to speak quietly, "Should we head inside?"

Nicky nods once and then twice and leads the way into _Hargrove's._ Asher follows after Nicky when the twins make no move to move, so when he walks he has two people behind him. He shoves down the sharp fear, telling himself that he's in public and he can't get taken here and these people _won't_ hurt him. Hopefully.

They enter the diner and Nicky walks up to the front counter, most likely to get them a spot to sit. There's only a few more people seated, and luckily it's quiet and comfortable. Asher's used to getting takeaway's from here early in the morning with Warren and Safa before they all head to work.

Asher glances over at Andrew and Aaron over his shoulder to find them already looking at him, so he looks away again quickly. His hands are starting to shake again, so he pulls his sleeve over his fingers to hide them, but he's pretty sure Andrew caught them anyway.

Nicky nods over at Aaron and then at a table of four near the corner of the room, and Aaron starts leading the way to the table. Asher bites the inside of his cheek and follows, and together the four sit down, Nicky carrying some menu's for them.

Asher sits so Nicky's across from him, Andrew to his left and Aaron to his right. They stare at each other for a second before Asher takes in a shuttering breath and stares at the table surface instead. This is all too much.

"Uhm," Nicky says with an awkward chuckle. He clears his throat and Asher looks back up again, "You...you go to Boston Uni, right?"

It's a clear invitation to start a conversation, so Asher takes the leap and quietly shrugs one shoulder up and says, "Yes. I." He pauses, clears his throat and glances down, back up at Andrew and Aaron and Nicky and continues, "I major in English."

Nicky smiles, wide and bright, and Asher tenses the smallest bit at the sight of it. Nicky asks, "Do you like it?"

Asher blinks and says, "I wouldn't be doing it if i didn't," with a look at Andrew and Aaron, who are still silent and still staring.

Nicky goes to speak but Aaron gets there first. His voice is smooth and sharp, all edges and corners, when he says, "You want to write?"

Asher looks at him and nods slightly. It's so...it's so weird. They're brothers, and Asher is _speaking to him,_ and it's just _so_. It's unbelievable.

"Uhm, yeah. I like writing, sometimes," Asher replies quietly. He fiddles with the rubber band around his wrist and doesn't break eye contact with Aaron when he asks, "What...what about PSU? What do you guys study?"

He already knows the answers, but this is the easiest route of conversation he can take. Aaron tilts his head to the side and says, "I study biochemistry," and adds with a turn of his head to Andrew and Nicky, "Andrew majors in criminology and Nicky's doing marketing."

Nicky says to Asher, "PSU's great! We also play--"

"Exy," Asher can't help but interrupt. Nicky blinks at him in surprise and Asher looks away, abashed as he murmurs, "I watched some of your games." He looks back up and meet's Andrew's eyes, "You guys are...really good."

"Oh," Nicky says, "Do you play?"

Asher blinks and looks at him, "Uhm. I used to a few years ago, but not." He can't help but look away. "Not anymore."

_Dammit._ He should have said he did, and then maybe the three would like him more and this conversation would extend and he'd be able to be their family and--

"Do you have a job?" Andrew asks. Asher looks at him. His voice has a smoker's rasp to it, and is heavy and smooth like Aaron's, but more slow and dragged out and lulling. It's the first thing he's said, and Asher blinks at him.

He fiddles with the band again and replies, "I, yeah. I work with Warren at his store and sometimes help out at Safa's workshop."

"What are they like?" Andrew asks.

Asher gazes at him, confused. Why does he want to know? He looks between his cousin and brothers before saying, "They're fine?" in a puzzled tone he can't conceal.

"He wants to know if they did that to your face." Aaron says bluntly. Asher stares at him and Nicky winces.

"Not that we need to know--" Nicky tries to say, but Andrew stops him with a short, "Nicky."

"I--what?" Asher says, quietly, "No. They didn't..." He waves a vague hand over his face, "do this to me. They're good people."

Andrew and Asher stare at each other for a minute longer before Andrew hums and drops his gaze with a nod. Asher furrows his eyebrows and looks at Nicky, who says, "Alright! Moving on." He crosses his arms and smiles, "Tell us about yourself, Asher."

Asher suddenly feels cold. He knows it's stupid and irrational, knows that it's curiosity and desire to understand him, but he wonders why they want to know so much, why they're lightly bending the conversation before continuing, why they're _here_. His mind tells him it's because they're gonna hurt him, they're gonna take him and this is all a trick and Asher bends the rubber band and it snaps.

"No," Asher says quietly and coolly. He tells himself to speak back and be _nice,_ but he just says, "How about you tell me about you?" because it's their turn to speak, it's their turn to owe _him_ something.

Nicky's smile wavers. Aaron eyes him and Andrew doesn't do anything. Nicky replies, "Okay, that's fine, too, then. Want to know about our teammates?"

Asher looks at them and nods slowly, and then the conversation goes towards the PSU Foxes, the team of outcasts and underdogs, kids from bad pasts who deserve another chance.

David Wymack-- _Dadmack,_ in Nicky's words--is their coach, and Abby Winfield is their nurse. Dan Wilds is their captain, and Neil Josten is their vice-captain. They have Kevin Day, a celebrity, on their team, and Matt Boyd and Allison Reynolds.

Nicky plays as a backliner along with Aaron and Andrew mans the goal with Renee Walker, and the freshmen include Jack Crafter, Sheena Walters, Bryan Norris, Robin Cross and Stray Yoshihara.

Apparently, last year they beat the champions, Edgar Allen Ravens, in finals and currently hold the trophy. Nicky also mentions how the year was a total clusterfuck, and seems like he's about to explain but stops with a look from Andrew.

Asher hesitates for a bit and, after their food arrives, slowly tells them about his childhood because it's only fair. He tells them how he went through foster care up until he was adopted by Elaine Foster when he was 14, and he breezes over her and Hayley's death with nothing more than a, "They're not here anymore," before saying that he lives under Warren's care now.

As their hour and a half comes to an end, Asher allows himself to realise that he's not feeling as untrustworthy of them now. He watches as Aaron and Nicky bicker over the sauce, and relaxes into his chair.

It's so odd to think that he has a _family,_ and it's even weirder to think about the questions that come with it. Does he have the same father as Andrew and Aaron? How did his mother die? Where will this meeting take him, and will they see each other again?

"God," Nicky says, "I need to pee. I'll be right back." He stands and starts walking away, shuffling awkwardly, and Aaron trots after him, most likely doing the same quest.

Asher looks away from them and over to Andrew. His older brother's tearing his toasted sandwich into small bits, occasionally taking a sip from his hot chocolate. Asher's own hot chocolate sits between his hands, warming his palms up and sending sunlight through his veins.

Asher feels...content, which slightly makes him uneasy because he feels like he's trusting too easy, feels like he's sinking into a rabbit hole simply because it lured him with _family._ But, Asher just shoves those thoughts away and allows himself comfort.

Asher looks away from Andrew and watches a marshmallow sink in his drink. The quietness is broken when Andrew says, "Are they dead?"

Asher blinks at him and Andrew nods to his face, "Is the person that did that dead?"

Asher stops breathing for a second. His stomach sinks. Hands shake and the sky turns red.

"No," He whispers. Clears his throat. Breathes. Sinks into an ocean and drowns when he murmurs, "No, they're not."

Andrew's gaze is hard, but breathing is even harder. To attempt to make his lungs work, Asher adds, "But. But they're...locked away, so it's alright, I guess."

Locked away. Jonathon Henson, locked away in a jail in Vermont on the charges of kidnapping, sexual assault, physical abuse, attempted murder. Pleaded guilty. No trial.

All the evidence was on and in Asher.

Asher breathes sharply and roughly and looks back at his hot chocolate and takes a sip, letting it burn down his throat. Acid clears and Nicky and Aaron make their way back and everyone stands up and grabs their items and Nicky pays, insisting, and then they're at the door and Asher see's Warren's car and goes to move but stops.

He turns and faces the three and takes a breath before saying, "Boston is getting too expensive and Palmetto always has room and since I haven't started school yet...we were thinking. That. Maybe." He blinks and watches their faces as they realise what he's saying and he continues, "Maybe we could move to Palmetto and I could see you more--if that's. If that's something that you guys." He swallows. "Would want."

Nobody says anything. Asher rushes out, "But, that's only an idea. If you don't want to--"

"Yes," Andrew says. Asher stares at him and Andrew adds, "Yes. That is something we would want."

Asher looks at Aaron and Nicky and see's equal looks of confirmation on their faces. He nods once and then twice because he can't speak, and then Nicky says with a small smile, "It was nice meeting you, Asher. Talk soon?"

Asher nods dumbly and says, "Talk soon."

Nicky starts to make his way back to the Maserati and Andrew follows after another look and Aaron goes to follow but hesitates. Asher gives him a quizzical glance and Aaron says, "We could teach you."

"What?" Asher says, nonplussed.

"Exy," Aaron says, "We could teach you how to play."

Asher's stomach twists and somehow, a small smile fights it's way to his face and he manages to get out an, "Okay."

Aaron nods and turns and follows after his family, and the Maserati roars to life and Andrew's window rolls down. He meets Asher's eyes, and then taps two fingers to his temple in salute, and then they're driving out of the parking lot and then they're gone.

Gone, but coming back.

Asher's smile stays on his face as he jumps in Warren's car, and the man doesn't ask how it went because, well, maybe the smile says it for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone enjoyed! <3 I managed to get this chapter out as my wrists and hands haven't been hurting as much these past two days, and I was pretty bored because I've been home sick! have a great day/night!  
> —  
> come yell with me on tumblr — [@lacuniaa](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/lacuniaa)  
> & check out my twitter!! — [@lacuniaa](https://twitter.com/lacuniaa)


	4. red in my eyes, hope in my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dark piece of his past makes it's way to Asher while the Foxes enjoy a lunch at Abby's before another meeting date is set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! here's chapter four! the dates that I used in the previous chapters were a tiny bit wrong (??) so sorry for that <33 just ignore those ones hehe. 
> 
> previously on:  
> Asher had a successful meeting with Andrew, Aaron and Nicky after they found out about each other, and a talk with Safa beforehand made him reveal small truths about his eight weeks with Jonathon to her. Aaron offered his and his families help with reteaching Asher Exy, to which Asher accepted. 
> 
> chapter warnings:  
> // implied/referenced rape/non-con, scene including anger and aggression and a breakdown, vomiting, past stalking, hurting oneself in the confusion of crying and touch-revulsion. //
> 
> please contact me on my tumblr (lacuniaa) if you feel I need more warnings!
> 
> enjoy!

**chapter four:** _red in my eyes, hope in my heart_

_Friday 16th. March 2007._

The Fox Tower stands silent when they get back at 4 am.

Andrew shuts off the Maserati, and Nicky and Aaron stumble behind him as the three make their way towards the building. The sun hasn't come up yet, and the temperature is cold and biting. Inside the tower, the dorms are quiet, the occasional sound of tired steps coming from inside some as they pass.

They left Boston at around two pm, thirty minutes after their meeting with Asher. Nicky didn't want to risk Kevin's rage if they arrived in the afternoon of Friday, and Aaron proposed the idea that leaving would let Asher not feel as much pressure, as he seemed uncomfortable at times in their lunch.

Andrew didn't really have much of an opinion. He was content with anything if it included them seeing Asher again. He still needed many more missing puzzle pieces.

He had told Neil that he wouldn't ask Asher any pushing questions, but, well, Aaron had done it for him and Andrew couldn't be held accountable.

While Aaron trips over his feet getting into his own dorm room, Nicky and Andrew enter theirs. Nicky immediately heads to the bedroom, opening the door and loudly getting into his own bed without changing out of his clothes.

Andrew grabs a pair of softer clothes for bed and gets changed in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and staring blankly at the mirror afterwards. He spits out the toothpaste when he stares for a few heartbeats and leans forward, gazing at the sink, hands on either side of the counter.

He wonders who did that to Asher. He wonders when he'll find out.

He should have known.

A presence against the doorframe makes him snap his eyes over to Neil's silent figure. They gaze at each other silently, Neil's eyes scanning Andrew's face and settling a neutral expression over his own in reply to whatever he finds.

Andrew doesn't speak, and Neil doesn't ask him to. They slip into bed together moments later, close but not touching, just sharing air and leaving a tiny space between their almost linked pinkies. It is enough.

●

Aaron is so glad he doesn't have to attend morning practice.

He's not sure what time it is--though the warmth of the orange sun on his face tells him it's midday--and he allows himself a moment to enjoy a long stretch that makes him see stars on a black slate during it. He lays back down straight and comfortable with a huff afterwards.

Morning practice after two 14 hour drives would have been _torture._ Added with the pressure of doing good this year after somehow winning last year's championship would have made it unbearable, especially with the new freshmen.

Aaron drags a hand down his face and manages to get out of bed, his bones cracking as he shoves a hoodie on over his head. He picks up his phone and see's _9:43_ greeting him, as well as a text from Katelyn congratulating him about the successful meeting with Asher.

He had texted her the updates when they were driving home yesterday, not willing to call her less he wanted Nicky's background kissy noises and Andrew's deeply judgmental atmosphere that he knew he would be receiving even if he wasn't looking at him.

Aaron would call her now, but like the Foxes, she'd also be at training. Instead, he texts back with a _talk at lunch? xx_ and slips his phone into his pocket, exiting the bedroom and then the dorm.

The hallway is quiet, as most of the athletes in the tower are busy with their own sports. Aaron knocks on Nicky and Andrew's door, knowing he'll be let in because Andrew would wake at the noise easily.

However, it's not even a second later that the door is opened by Nicky. His cousin greets him with a small smile and a tired, "Hey," and Aaron nods back and brushes past him. Nicky closes the door behind him.

Andrew's spread out across a beanbag, staring at the news on the television with a face that screams that he could not give less of a shit, and Aaron sits on the couch, Nicky joining him.

The three of them watch the news for a few minutes before Nicky clears his throat and says, "We should probably talk about this."

Andrew spares him a glance over his shoulder but doesn't answer. Aaron sighs and looks at Nicky and says, "Yeah."

Nicky looks between the two of them and glances away before asking, "What'd...what did you guys think of him?"

They had talked about him on the way home, of course, but it was in slow and sparse conversation. Aaron was busy texting Katelyn, Andrew had occupied himself with his usual stony silence, and Nicky had been quiet, seemingly lost in his thoughts.

"He." Aaron starts and stops. He looks down at his hands and then remarks, "Seems like a Minyard."

Because he did, didn't he? The blond hair, the height, the darkness in the corner of his eyes. The mistrust in his body, the way he leaned forward and backwards, hot and then cold. Aaron had spent most of the time studying him, curious as to where the scars came from, why they were there in the first place. Andrew had mentioned that Asher had said that the person who did it to him was in jail now, but for how long? Was Asher _really_ safe?

Asking these questions makes him feel like Andrew, but then Aaron realises that would mean Andrew's a caring person, so that thought is quenched as soon as it sparks.

Nicky gives him a disapproving look at his words, but Andrew's gaze is...understanding. He knows what Aaron means. Because that's how. That's how they work now, apparently. _Congratulations, Neil_ , Aaron wants to snark, _your stupid idea of the Minyard twin's weekly therapy sessions is working._

But, instead, he just listens as Nicky looks off, out the window and into the distance, his voice weak as he says, "He looked tired."

Andrew stares at the news with bored eyes. Aaron closes his own. Nicky looks at them and says with a stronger tone, "He _is_ tired, isn't he? You saw him too." Aaron opens his eyes and Nicky adds, "He walks like he has weights on his shoulders and just. Didn't breathe at all sometimes and his eyes never stopped moving and--" Nicky cuts himself off and stares at the wall with a dark expression.

Aaron looks away sharply. It's easy to forget that Nicky's cheer is mostly a façade, an amplification of what he actually feels to make up for Andrew and Aaron's own lack of joy. Seeing Nicky's _actual_ expression feels wrong, so Aaron tries not to look at it for too long.

Andrew's input is surprising. He says, "He is like how Neil was last year."

Aaron opens his mouth and closes it. His initial reaction is to go against anything including Neil, but, well...it's true. The twitchiness. The fiddling fingers. The eyes on the exits, the eyes burning through Aaron's body whenever he so much as moved.

"Yeah," Nicky chuckles lowly, and then a smile brightens his face, "But, hey, we got through to Neil. I'm sure we can get through to him."

"No." Andrew says. Nicky's smile falls and Aaron stares at his brother. Andrew continues, "Do not try to 'get through to him.' He does not trust us yet, not fully. We need to show him that he can trust us, and then wait for him to come to us. That is how this will work. No pushing. No shoving. Just waiting."

He turns to look at them. Aaron asks, "What?"

It's not that he _won't_ do that. It's just that he's surprised Andrew would even _think_ to do that. He's always so nosy about everything else Aaron though he'd go to the FBI himself and demand to know what happened to Asher.

Andrew doesn't answer him, and Nicky nods after a few heartbeats of silence. Aaron copies the movement, and then Andrew holds his gaze for a second longer before turning away again. The three let silence reign the room for nearly thirty minutes, stuck in their own minds, before Aaron looks up from his hands.

"We can't let the journalists find out about him," Aaron murmurs. His eyes darken and he spits, "Damn vultures. You know how they are."

Nicky nods furiously and Andrew spares him a glance, and then Nicky asks, "Also...if Asher was involved with the FBI, wouldn't that mean we could just...search his name up?"

Andrew replies before Aaron can with a firm, "No. We hear it from him." Nicky stares at Andrew, and then Andrew repeats, "We hear it from _him_."

Appeased with Nicky's small, "Okay," Andrew slumps back into the beanbag. Aaron picks at his fingernails and says, "For the next meeting we should invite Asher here."

Nicky gapes at him and Aaron continues, rushed, "It could give Warren and his daughter a chance to check out the area, and Asher could see PSU."

Andrew looks at him with an undecipherable look, and Nicky blinks before hesitantly saying, "That could work, I guess."

"If he agrees." Andrew says. It's not snarky or a reprimand, merely a reminder.

"If he agrees." Nicky and Aaron echo, and that's that.

●

_Friday 16th. March 2007._

Since Safa was at work all day yesterday and couldn't hear Asher's recount straight after the meeting, Asher tells her over breakfast.

His words are a bit slow and his hands are a bit shaky from his night of no sleep, but Safa doesn't seem to mind. She listens to him quietly speak about what Nicky told him, and how Aaron and the others would be willing to reteach him Exy. He wouldn't mind getting back into Stickball if it meant being closer to his newfound family--if that's what they're doing this for.

Asher finishes his recount and squeezes his eyes shut before opening them again. He was really thinking this day was going to be good, especially after yesterday, but, as usual, everything hates him.

He's having a fuzzy day. One side of his head feels heavier than the other, and he keeps checking his ears to make sure his brain's not oozing out of them. His vision is trying to pull him back so he feels outside of his body, leaving his limbs strung and weightless, but he's been blinking too much to let it.

Asher's also aware of Warren's glances, and the way his voice is softer than usual--not that it needs to be. Asher's never been scared of the man, maybe apprehensive at first, but never scared. And unless Warren gives him a reason, Asher never will be.

"Asher?"

Asher glances up and meet's Safa's eyes. However, the bottom of his eyes feel heavy when he does that, so he looks away and murmurs, "Yeah?"

She must have been saying his name for a while. Asher can feel the twin glances her and Warren share over the top of his head.

"Fuzzy day?" She asks. It sounds like her voice is muffled, underwater or underground.

Asher can't speak, so he just nods. He drops his fork and Warren asks, "You coming to _Horizon_ today?"

Asher thinks about working all day. He thinks about customers, smiles, stares. Frightened kids. He opens his mouth and tries to say _yes,_ but "No," comes out instead. He stares down at his plate. He can see Warren nod out of the corner of his eye.

"Okay," Warren says, as if it's simple. Asher's letting him down, isn't he? Why is it so easy to say "Okay"? Shouldn't he be disappointed--

Asher's thoughts churn and disappear. He can't focus today.

"I'll do schoolwork instead," Asher says quietly. Since they're unsure if Asher will still be attending BU in the future, he's just been getting emailed work to do with the excuse of staying home due to a flu.

Warren suggests, "Or you could just nap."

Asher finds the will to look up from his plate to the man, who just looks at him evenly. Even if Asher wanted to speak, he doesn't get the chance to. A knock on the door interrupts their breakfast and the three look to the door.

Warren slips from his chair and steps towards the door. He tugs it open and reveals Agent Takamori and Norton. Asher stares at them and Safa huffs from beside him. Warren glances at them and then at Asher, and then he looks back at them and steps aside, nodding for them to come in.

Norton slips inside first, Takamori following her in, and Norton says, "Good morning. Sorry for interrupting your day again."

"You guys have quite a knack for that, don't you," Warren grumbles good-heartedly. He hangs up their coats and Asher straightens when he see's the file in Takamori's hands.

"Hello," Takamori greets Asher, "Did your meeting go okay?"

Asher blinks at him slowly. "It was fine."

Takamori tilts his head and goes to speak, but Warren murmurs, "I'll go close up the shop if you lot are here," first.

Norton waves a hand at him. "There's no need. Me and Agent Takamori need to speak with Mr. Foster privately."

Asher stills. Warren looks at Norton and then to Asher, who manages to give him the tiniest of nods. Safa gets up from her own chair and says, "I'll come with you," to her father. The two are gone a second later, and Asher watches as Takamori and Norton sit down across the table, facing him.

Hunter treks over from the loungeroom and lazily plops down next to Asher's seat, and Asher spends a second to rub his head before giving the Agents his attention.

"We'll get straight to the point," Takamori starts, "We..." He shares a glance with Norton, "We withheld this information due to the fact that you just found out about your biological family members--Andrew, Aaron and Nicky."

Asher stares at him. Withheld information. Withheld. _Withheld_. What did they not tell him?

Takamori continues, "We didn't want to overwhelm you, but it would be inhumane to hold it off any longer. I...hope this doesn't make you lose any trust in us."

Asher doesn't know how to answer. He wouldn't say he _trusts_ the Agents fully, but at least they have moments when they are trustworthy. He finds himself hoping that what they've withheld isn't too bad, so then he has a reason to still half-way trust them--which is silly, because Asher _shouldn't_ be trusting _anyone_ , much less two cops.

Instead of answering, Asher turns his gaze to the file on the table. Fuzz swirls along the corners of his eyes, making it so he can only focus on whatever's inside the file. A buzz sounds in his ear, and he finds himself holding his breath, going still. He makes sure his head's straight so it doesn't tilt and fall from his neck.

Norton's voice cuts through the thick wad of his thoughts. She says, "Jonathon Henson stalked you and took images of you in public before he took you on December 4th, Asher." The blonde feels something inside him shrivel up and die from the name, and he snaps his gaze to her, incensed one second and empty the next. Fuzzy.

And then the words sink in, and he's terrified.

Jonathon. Stalked. Jonathon stalked him? Asher knows that Jonathon would have had to at least _seen_ him to want to...take him, but...stalking? Cold air climbs up his throat. The left side of his brain pulses angrily, as if a clamp has clawed it's way around it and _squeezed._

What does this mean?

Did Jonathon follow him home after school? Did he watch him in stores? Did they walk across the same pathway, drive in the same lane? Did he stand and watch from afar, taking photos and then going on with his day?

Did Asher ever fucking speak to him like he was a normal person and just...not remember his face?

"Were you aware of this?" Norton queries.

Asher stares at her. He tries to speak once, twice and then gets it out on the third go. "No," he murmurs, and then tries again stronger, " _No_."

Takamori grimaces and Norton's own usually expressionless face gives way to a softer look. She pushes the file across the table and says after a deathly pause, "He also took recordings of your time in the cabin."

Life stops. Hands quiver. It's the fucking end of the world.

Asher doesn't look at the Agents, though. He doesn't scream and sob and yell _why._ He doesn't smash the windows or grab a knife and go to Vermont and kill Jonathon right now.

He just. He just sits, and stares at the file.

Because _recordings._ Recordings. Of what? Of Asher.

Of course. _Of course._

Words leave Takamori and Norton's mouths, but they go in one ear and out the other. All Asher registers is, ' _found in an empty can in the cabin_ ' and ' _higher-ups watched for evidence_ ' and ' _we didn't watch it_.'

He feels like he should be more horrified about the fact that people have _watched_ whatever's on the videos, but there's just. There's just nothing.

The two Agents leave the file with him when they go, but Asher doesn't realise their sudden loss of presence. He's too busy staring at the file.

At his side, Hunter whines and puts a wet nose to his palm, and Asher glances at him and then at the file. His hand starts to move upwards subconsciously, and life is playing like a film as he flicks it open slowly.

The file has two things inside. There's a stack of photos paperclipped together, a sticky-note placed on top, reading _DO NOT TOUCH_ and a baggie full of USB's. There's no text or document. It's just those two things.

Asher's heart starts and stops and stutters and then _snaps_ in an explosion of red rage. Everything's a blur as he snatches the plastic bag up in a violent matter, and he rips Warren's laptop from the charger in the living room and sits back down on the table chair swiftly.

He picks out a random USB, his pulse in his throat, and clicks it in on the first try after logging into the laptop. The screen is blank for a second-- _badump, badump, badump,_ his heart goes--and then a file tab opens up.

Video thumbnails load. His eyes catch onto the first one, and no.

_No._

The image box is small, but it's easy to see what's happening. Asher on his knee's, face upwards and eyes closed, Jonathon holding his chin as he--

It's so sickening to see Asher's racing up the stairs in the next millisecond. Saliva fills his mouth and whatever amount of breakfast he managed to eat before leaves him in violent gags and heaves, his body tightly wound around the toilet like it's a piece of wood in a drowning ocean.

Tears stream from his eyes as he coughs and vomits and lurches, and his heart races and head thumps. The past and it's memories flash behind his eyelids, but they're too quick to describe and understand, a background torture as he continues to throw up.

After he's done, he leans against the bathroom wall, staring at the counter across from him. His bones feel heavy, and it takes everything in him to manage to stand up. His legs shake from the movement, eyes sore and likely puffy, and his lower back aches from his vomiting position.

Asher lets a small breath leave him. He think's he should feel hollow after getting rid of everything in his stomach, but instead there's anger.

Red and white anger. Rage.

He clenches his hands and grits his jaw, and he storms from the bathroom back to the table downstairs. Asher's form feels like it's on autopilot, like he can't control anything, and he rips the USB from the laptop without looking at the screen and closes it tightly, putting it back to his original spot in the loungeroom.

Asher's hands shake and his feet pulse on the bottom of them, his own nails drawing angry red lines down his forearms. Hunter boofs and makes a concerned noise, but Asher doesn't notice.

He's so angry. There's a ringing in his ear, and it grows as he detours into the kitchen, and it grows as his hands close around a glass, and it grows as he tries to drink some water, and then it pops and cracks and smashes when he throws the cup, shattering it into a hundred pieces on the floor.

Asher stares down at the shattered glass.

Why did he do that?

The anger has left with the cup, and now a dull pain just stretches along his stomach, uncomfortable and uneasy. He only gets back to the table before he's collapsing to the ground, and then he only gets a small sob out before tears are streaming down his face, before horrified, guttural sounds burn his lungs and before pain seizes his throat and clenches and closes up, making him cry more.

Jonathon recorded him, and people watched those videos.

Asher feels exposed and disgusted, which turns to shame and agony and everything terrible. He screams into his own elbow and bites down hard enough to leave marks. Hunter barks and paws at his legs, and Asher accidentally brushes his own arm against his other wrist when he goes to gently push the dog away.

He flinches back into the table, disgusted at the feeling of skin on skin. Of the odd warmth radiating from his flesh, how it sounds when it rubs and slaps together.

Asher needs a distraction, badly. Otherwise he's going to choke on his tears.

He reaches a hand up and rips the file down with his arm, and he digs through it. Asher rips the photos from the paperclip and gets the sticky-note off and then looks over the first picture desperately. He lets Hunter cuddle up next to him, the big dog nuzzling under his chin.

The first picture alone is enough to send shivers down his spine. It's a photo of Asher across the street, and though it's slightly fuzzy and pixelated, it's still horrifying. He must have just been walking to a store or heading somewhere, and Jonathon must have been right across the street.

Right across the damn street.

Before he can even think to not do it, Asher's flicking through the images, desperately taking in what Jonathon has seen. Asher entering Elaine's car. Asher and Hayley speaking to one another. Asher at the counter at a shop. Asher outside his house.

All of them. All of them are just of _him._

The stack's around 50 pictures long, and Asher goes through them all with sweeping fingers and wide eyes. His stomach has ripped open and it feels like his wrists are being restrained by the handcuffs again, every little cut and every big scar on his body pulsating with life and death as he goes through the pictures.

When there's no more to go through, Asher places the last one onto the scattered pile and stares at the loungeroom across from him. Hunter tries to get his attention, but Asher can't.

He can't breathe or blink or move or do anything.

Why him?

The front door opens with a creak. Asher's heart sinks and he slowly turns his head to the side, waiting for Jonathon to appear with his toothy smile and wandering hands, but it's Warrens voice that greets him instead.

"Left my keys here, we think," Warren calls out, "Have you seen--"

The man turns around the corner and stills at the sight of the broken glass and the crumpled form of Asher. He stares at the photos and then looks at Asher and says, "What happened?"

Asher stares at him. How does he...how does he explain? Will Warren be mad about the glass? The blonde opens and closes his mouth and gestures helplessly at the photographs.

A frown tugs at Warren's face, and then he enters the living room. Asher watches as he wrestles a blanket from the couch, and then a second later the blanket is being placed on both Asher and Hunter.

For some reason, Warren's hand's don't even touch him. Maybe it's just a coincidence, or maybe Warren just doesn't need to be told. Asher manages to get a breath out, and then he closes his eyes tightly. He uses the count-down method Luo taught him, and it takes several minutes of silence until he's able to open his eyes and breathe normally.

"He...he took photos. Before. And he..." Asher shakily tells Warren, "He took _videos_ when I was with him."

Warren takes the explanation in silence. A dark look flashes over his face before his mouth tugs into a grim line, and then he simply asks, "Do you want Luo?"

Asher blinks. Does he?

The answer forms inside his head and is out his mouth before he even realises.

"No," He says. Something red inside him rears his head forward and he _snarls_ and says, "I want out of this city."

Because. Well, he does. He wants to get out and he needs to get out and maybe--maybe he has all along. Maybe these videos and pictures have torn his mind and brought up and awoken something and Asher suddenly feels suffocated. He needs out, and soon.

Warren opens his mouth, but his phone pings and interrupts him. The man furrows his brows and brings out his phone, and he reads the message and then looks at Asher and says, "Well, I think we may have an opportunity."

He brings the phone up to Asher's face and Asher reads the message.

**Andrew Minyard**

_call soon for next meeting. aaron thinks you should_

_all come to palmetto and check out the city._

Asher blinks at the message for a second and then slowly, slowly nods. Warren nods back, and Hunter boofs and Asher runs a hand down his own face.

"Sorry about the glass," He whispers behind his hands.

"Don't be," Warren says. Asher removes his hands and looks at him and Warren adds, "It was a shit one anyway."

That makes a weak chuckle escape Asher, which surprises himself almost more than Warren, who gets a shocked look on his face. They look at each other in surprise and then Warren relaxes, stands up, and holds a hand out to him.

"C'mon," He says, "Let's go get Safa and go for a drive."

Asher looks at his offered hand, takes it, and says, "Sounds good."

●

_Saturday 17th. March 2007._

Midday lunches at Abby's means a cluttered house and loud conversations.

A year ago, this would _not_ have been a thing. Andrew allows himself to send Neil a _look_ as they step into the house, which just earns him a small, knowing smile. Kevin and Nicky follow after the two, Nicky immediately heading off to the loudest room in the house--the loungeroom.

Kevin looks around with a screwed up face and beelines for the kitchen, and Andrew and Neil follow after him. Andrew glances over his shoulder as they enter the kitchen, looking to the busy loungeroom.

The couch is dominated by Dan, Allison, Robin and Jack. Sheena has an arm chair to herself and Matt, Bryan and Aaron have the beanbags in front of the tv. Nicky joins Aaron in his beanbag, shoving his cousin aside as they wrestle for the seat. Renee's leaning up against the wall, most likely to leave more room for everyone else, and Stray stands beside her, listening and making small inputs as Renee speaks.

Wymack hasn't arrived yet, and Abby's cooking up a storm in the kitchen, though not in a rushed or panicked way. She looks content as she stirs things here and there, and she smiles at Andrew, Neil and Kevin when they loiter in.

"Hello," She says, "You guys are a bit late, don't you think?"

"Coach is later," Neil replies easily. He grabs a yogurt from the fridge and heads out to the loungeroom, Kevin sharing a quick hug with Abby before following after him. Andrew, however, doesn't follow.

He sinks into one of the counter stools and looks at his hands as Abby continues cooking. The Foxes haven't asked about the meeting, but they know from Nicky's words that it went good and the three expect to see Asher again. There was a curious question here or there, but nothing major has been revealed and Andrew doesn't intend to speak with them anyway.

Only Neil knows about Andrew's thoughts on his younger brother, and he's sure Katelyn must have learned some things from Aaron too. Andrew's also told Neil about their idea to bring Asher to Palmetto, and doesn't see how it could be a bad idea.

Andrew looks up as someone enters the kitchen. Robin gives Abby a small, "Hello," when she enters, but her eyes quickly find Andrew's. She steps forward and then nervously shifts her weight from one foot to the other and says, "Hi," to Andrew.

Andrew blinks at her slowly. A tiny smile enters her face and Abby pretends not to eavesdrop as she says, "I, uh, just wanted to say that. Um. Thank you for...thank you for choosing me."

Robin rushes to elaborate. "They told me that you picked me out from some recruit files and I just wanted to make sure to thank you and--"

"You're welcome." Andrew interrupts her plainly. Robin stares at him and a grin bursts on her face.

"I'll make you proud!" She says. Her grin falls and her back straightens and her shoulders square and...well, _that_ 's the other reason Andrew picked her. Raw and pure determination fills her face and she says, "I will."

Andrew wants to huff in exasperation, but instead he steels his face into normality. Robin scans over his features, smiles again, and then leaves. Andrew watches her go and then looks at Abby, who's grin he can feel.

She waves a fork at him. "She likes you."

Andrew doesn't reply. Abby hands him a piece of ham, and Andrew eats it on his way to the living room. It's very compressed and stuffy, but Neil's managed to get an arm chair for himself and scoots over to make room for Andrew in a silent offer.

Andrew internally rolls his eyes and slips in next to Neil's side, wrapping an arm around the back of Neil's shoulders as Neil hesitantly presses one around his middle, still eating his yogurt. He ignores Jack's dark look and kicks at Kevin as he slumps down at their feet, weakly fighting Matt for the tv remote.

Wymack enters the room and Nicky cheers, causing Wymack to ignore him. Their coach stomps over to Matt and Kevin and rips the remote from them, and he stands in front of the tv to gather all of their attention. He's holding a bag in one hand and uses the remote to point at individual people he wants to shut up.

"All right, all right," Wymack says, "I know how very eager you all are to stuff your faces so be quiet and you can do it sooner."

Silence falls upon them and Wymack drops the remote to reach a hand into the bag. He brings his hand out and throws something at Robin. She catches it, and gapes at the too-bright-orange and white jersey. _CROSS_ and _11_ is displayed over it.

Wymack then throws one at Jack. His says _CRAFTER_ and _12,_ Sheena's says _WALTERS_ and _13_ , Stray's says _YOSHIHARA_ and _14_ and Bryan's says _NORRIS_ and _15._ They all look theirs over with equal amount of awe, Stray for once not holding an expressionless face.

"Don't piss yourselves in excitement," Wymack suggests. He gives all of the Foxes a look over and Andrew glances around slowly. Everyone else still has their usual numbers, though Seth's 6 is still not being used.

Wymack says, "March 30th is our first game. We're playing in two weeks on a Friday, against the Jackals at the Foxhole Court." He jabs a finger at them all, "And we better do damn good, you hear me? We're walking a fragile line with the ERC. Our negotiation after last year's clusterfuck was that we had six more signed players, but we've only got five. I'm tugging in favours of all directions, so just keep us afloat for now, alright?"

"Yes, Coach!" All of them--except for the more reserved people such as Andrew himself--shout. Wymack nods in satisfaction.

"Yes, let's do good again this year, guys!" Dan says, excited. She turns to look at Neil and nods her head for him to speak and Neil looks at Andrew, confused, and says, "Yes."

Matt snorts and Abby calls from the kitchen, "Lunch is up!"

Everyone is up from the couches and beanbags at the speed of light. The Freshmen head into the inside table while the upperclassmen head out to the deck to eat outside so there's more room, and Renee walks into the kitchen to help Abby with the plates and servings.

Neil glances at Andrew when he doesn't follow, and Andrew nods to Wymack. Neil nods and follows the upperclassmen, and Wymack turns to look at Andrew. He raises a brow and says, "Bad ears, Minyard?"

"No," Andrew says. He gets straight to the point, saying, "Asher used to play Exy."

Wymack blinks. There's a pause, and he asks, "He any good?"

"He will be." Andrew replies, not in a condescending way. It's just the truth. Combining his, Aaron's and Nicky's skills plus possibly Kevin's and Neil's will make him a great player. "We're going to reteach him."

Wymack must see where this is going. He tilts his head and makes a considering noise before saying, "You get him to Class I level--and if he wants to--then I can hold off the ERC and get him a spot with us."

Andrew nods. He agrees with Aaron about keeping Asher out of the journalists headlines, but this chance might never come again. He thinks about Asher with the Foxes and thinks about seeing him more, understanding and learning about him. He...likes the idea. And not that Andrew _wants_ it, but maybe Asher reconnecting with them could bring Aaron and Andrew and Nicky closer together in the end, as well.

But that's not something he wants or needs. It's just an idea.

Andrew turns and heads towards the sound of his teammates laughter.

●

_Saturday 17th. March 2007._

The nap helps a lot.

Hunter takes up most of his bed, but Asher doesn't mind. The weight of the large dog helps him feel safe, and part of him wishes he could sleep forever when he wakes up at around six in the afternoon.

Asher fell asleep after he, Warren and Safa returned from their long, contemplative drive, and it turns out he really needed it. He hasn't been sleeping well, and his earlier breakdown made him bone-deep exhausted. His nap had been dreamless and pleasantly quiet for once, and when he wakes up he drifts for a moment, laying contently on his bed.

His hands are still a little shaky and his eyes are still puffy, but he feels almost...good. But maybe that's just because he's hidden the USB's and photos away so he doesn't think about or see them.

A knock on the door makes him look up. Hunter brings his head up and Asher croakily says, "Come in."

Warren opens the door. He's got his phone against his ear and he pulls it away to say, "Andrew's on the phone. He wants to speak with you about the next meeting."

Asher's heart skips a beat. He holds his hand out and Warren hands the phone over. Asher puts it to his ear and quietly says, "Hello."

Andrew hums in response. Warren turns and leaves, and Hunter gets up to follow the man. Andrew asks, "How was your day?"

Asher blinks. He wasn't aware Andrew was the sort to make small talk. Or maybe it's not small talk and just...a general question. Asher thinks about the photos and videos and murmurs, "It was alright. How...how was yours?"

"Good," Andrew says, "We had lunch at Abby's."

Abby. The team nurse? Asher lets a pause reign before he says, "Cool," a little awkwardly.

Andrew hums again and then slowly says, "We would like for you to come visit Palmetto."

"I would." Asher halts and swallows and continues, "I would like that, too. When?"

"Monday. You, Warren and Safa can check out the city when we are at our classes and stay the night at our house in Columbia or at a motel. You can practice Exy with us the next day." Andrew says.

Asher blinks and breathes. He hesitatingly says, "That's okay?"

"I wouldn't be offering if it wasn't." Andrew replies. Asher nods several times like Andrew can see it. Andrew adds, "My Coach, Wymack, is also interested in you joining our team if you manage to improve quickly."

Asher stills and stares at his wall. That's a...that's a lot of pressure. But. But it's fine. Asher thinks about seeing his family more and more and thinks about the price of PSU and how much it'll cost even with Hayley and Elaine's dead money--how it would weigh Safa and Warren down more, especially with the move, and how a scholarship would help.

Okay.

All he has to do is improve. Extremely quickly.

That's fine.

"I can do that," Asher says. He doesn't recognise his own voice.

"Okay." Andrew replies. There's a pause and then Andrew says, "See you soon, Asher."

"See you soon," Asher whispers, and Andrew hangs up. He removes the phone from his ear and gazes down at it, and then a tiny, tiny smile takes place on his face.

It's tiny, but it's there.

It's there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed!! <33 things are starting to get /good/ ahh!! thanks for all the love as always!
> 
> also on an irrelevant note, I'm so happy because I get to start making my monsters from my own original book out of clay and soon I'll also make the cover and ahhh it's just so exciting!! hopefully my wrists continue to hold on ajdjskj
> 
> also, [here’s](https://lacuniaa.tumblr.com/post/645439170013184000/heres-some-pictures-of-the-freshmen-from-lamb-to) a picture of the freshmen, asher and andrew and aaron!
> 
> have a good day/night!  
> —  
> come yell with me on tumblr — [@lacuniaa](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/lacuniaa)  
> & check out my twitter!! — [@lacuniaa](https://twitter.com/lacuniaa)


	5. my moon turns to sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second meeting, this time at Columbia, commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!!! here's a pretty long chapter that I am very happy with, but I am sorry if there are any mistakes. I'm in my last couple weeks of the term, so assignments are being handed out and I wrote this tonight just after I finished an essay so sorry for any mistakes. 
> 
> also?? there's so many A name's sorry if I mix up andrew, asher and aaron akjdjbj
> 
> previously on:  
> The disturbing photo's and videos of Asher have weaseled their way into his life, but he's set them aside now that Andrew's gotten Wymack's blessing for training Asher to be qualified enough for Class I Exy. 
> 
> chapter warnings:   
> // grief/mourning, description of murder, touch-repulsion, reference to car crash, implied/referenced homophobia, scene including a small anxiety-like attack, cursing and swearing, mention of scars, implied/referenced kidnapping and implied abuse. //
> 
> if you feel I need anymore warnings please contact me on tumblr (lacuniaa) !!
> 
> enjoy!

**chapter five:** _my moon turns to sun_

_Sunday 18th. March 2007._

Sunday starts off lazy.

Since they're going to be in Columbia on Tuesday, Andrew and his lot have once again skipped Eden's Twilight. Last week they didn't go because they were attending Abby's lunch, and now there's no point, even if Kevin hasn't stopped sending Andrew vehement looks all weekend.

Currently, Nicky's loudly speaking with Erik on skype and Aaron's either in his own dorm or out for breakfast with Katelyn, and Neil still isn't back from his morning run even though he left--dragging Kevin with him--at 6 am. It's now 10, and Andrew tugs out his phone.

He's just gotten out of the shower and he tunes out Nicky as he sends Neil a small and simple, ' _where are you'_. By the time Andrew gets a reply he's already made himself a coffee and a couple slices of toast, and he reads it as he sits on the counter.

**neil**

_duck_

Andrew blinks at his phone. A second later, a picture of Kevin standing by the lake at the local park with what looks to be a thousand ducks around him loads, and Andrew exits their messages and switches to his and Wymack's, calling the man after another bite of his toast. Andrew still needs to inform him that Asher's okay with training with them.

Wymack answers the phone with a flattering, "What."

"Asher agreed to training to Class I level," Andrew tells him, "You're welcome."

There's an incoherent grumble and Wymack shifts and says, "I'll get everyone in the lounge. You get your shitfaces over here and we'll tell em our idea."

Wymack hangs up and Andrew slips off the counter and walks into the loungeroom. Nicky's gone quiet now, tapping random things on his laptop, likely having just gotten off the call with Erik. Andrew says, "Court," and turns on his heels, heading to the front door.

Nicky shouts, "What?" but follows after him, and then there's a ping on both Andrew and Nicky's phone. Andrew puts his shoes on and takes a second to glance at it, seeing the mass message Wymack's sent to the whole team about meeting at the lounge in 20.

Nicky makes an _ah_ noise, and then the two are off, Andrew sending a text to Neil telling him about meeting them in case he decides to ignore the first notification sound on the way.

●

Nicky and Andrew get there before the others, but Wymack's already in his office. The man greets them by swinging his chair around until his back is to them, and Andrew and Nicky wait for the other Foxes by getting comfortable on the couch.

The Freshmen trek in first. Stray steals a chair for himself and Sheena goes to take another alone, but Robin takes it from her. Sheena scowls at her but Robin doesn't seem to notice as she tugs a blanket over herself.

Bryan takes a nervous seat on the ground and Jack leans against the wall, looking like he's about to nod off any second. Sheena joins him on the wall and Matt and Dan walk in, each with a cup of coffee. Renee and Allison are next to enter the room, Allison looking annoyed and Renee content. Aaron comes in last and sits down next to Andrew, smelling like breakfast foods.

Wymack walks out of his office and looks around at them. He glances at Andrew and asks, "Where's dumb and dumber?"

Even if Andrew was going to answer, he doesn't have to anyway. Neil and Kevin haul ass into the room and try to look like they're not gasping for air as they take their spots on the beanbags at Andrew, Nicky and Aaron's feet.

They would have had to shower before coming to the lounge, and it shows in their wet hair and rushed together outfits. Wymack gives them a look and then addresses the room, "As you all should know by now, this Friday is our first game. ERC's still on my ass about our number of players, but Andrew's found us a solution."

The Foxes all turn to Andrew as if he's actually going to speak. Andrew stares at them blankly, but Aaron catches his attention. He whips his head around to look at Andrew, most likely having already figured out where this is heading. His expressions twist in all sorts of ways.

Andrew hadn't had the time to tell Nicky or Aaron about his chat with Asher last night--about him confirming that he wouldn't mind joining the Foxes. Aaron opens and closes his mouth and turns back around and Wymack raises an eyebrow before speaking again.

"Andrew and Aaron's brother, Asher, used to play Exy," Wymack says, "They're gonna try and get him up to all of our skills and then I can sign him with the Foxes and the ERC can fuck off."

There's complete silence. Kevin's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Dan and Matt's eyes widen. Allison and Renee share a quick look, and Aaron rubs at his face while Nicky blinks several times. Stray shifts his legs, Sheena looks confused, and Robin nods and Bryan copies the movement. Jack's head shoots up and he stares at Wymack, and then Neil turns to face Andrew. Andrew looks back at him with a slow expression and Neil nods, satisfied, before turning back.

"Is that all, Coach?" Neil asks.

Jack splutters and waves a hand, "What the fuck do you mean, _'is that all, Coach'_?" Jack questions. He looks at Neil and then Wymack and says, "What the fuck?"

"What the fuck what?" Wymack asks.

"Is this a joke?" Jack demands. "The Foxes are already a laughingstock, and now you're planning to add some kid who _used_ to play Exy? What if he's shit?"

"We already recruited you," Aaron retorts, "It's not that hard of a bar to meet."

Jack looks at Aaron with a wild expression. Nicky holds a hand up to interrupt them and looks at Andrew and says, "He said yes?"

Andrew meets his eyes. He nods and Nicky turns to look at everyone else.

"Then he won't be shit." Nicky says firmly.

Wymack nods, which makes the other Foxes slowly join in. Some still look apprehensive or worried, like Dan, Sheena, Allison, Jack and Kevin, but Andrew surprises himself when he realises he _wants_ to prove them wrong. Asher _will_ be a good player, especially if he improves anything like Neil.

Everyone stews in their own thoughts for a second before Matt clears his throat. He glances at Dan and then at Nicky and slowly asks, "What's he like?"

Nicky freezes beside Andrew's side and Andrew understands. It's... _hard_ to say what Asher's like. Nicky shrugs and then replies, "He's. He's quiet."

"You're seeing him tomorrow, right?" Dan questions.

Aaron shakes his head. "Only for a little while. Him and the Ross's are gonna check out the area because they're thinking of moving from Boston to here."

"The Ross's?" Allison asks.

"Warren and Safa," Nicky answers, "I think Warren took him in after...whatever happened. Safa's his daughter. Asher mentioned he lived in foster care up until he was adopted at, like, 14 by Elaine Foster and her kid, Hayley. But he said they're dead now, so." Nicky shrugs and looks away.

There's a pause and Allison says, "Damn."

Wymack sends her a glance before he says, "Why doesn't one of you three just show the Ross's around? Then you can spend Monday and Tuesday with Asher."

Andrew looks at him. Aaron says, "We have classes, Coach."

Wymack rolls his eyes. "I can cover for you, dipshits. I think all of this qualifies as an emergency."

Aaron blinks at him and Andrew nods. Nicky stares at Wymack and then looks at the twins and says, "I can give Warren and Safa a tour if you guys want to stay at Columbia with Asher." Nicky adds, "If he wants that."

Andrew gives him a glance before he pulls out his phone. He pulls up his messages with Warren, and Nicky and Aaron watch over his shoulder as he types out a text with the new information.

After he sends the text, Aaron asks, "How long does it take for him to reply?"

"I have barely texted him," Andrew tells him. Aaron opens his mouth to say a sour reply, but Andrew's phone pings loudly.

**warren ross**

_Nice_

" _Nice_?" Aaron repeats. Andrew's phone pings again.

**warren ross**

_I will ask him now_

"Warren's asking Asher now," Nicky reports.

Matt looks at them, confused. "Why don't you just ask Asher?"

"He doesn't have a phone," Aaron informs him, "The Agents said he finds them untrustworthy."

Jack scoffs. "Of course he does."

"He sounds very similar to Neil," Renee says with a smile.

Nicky grins and says, "That's what Andrew said."

Neil looks at them blankly and then turns around fully to look at Andrew. He brushes off the comparison and says, "He will need a phone if he wants to join us."

"Yeah," Wymack points, agreeing, "We'll need a way to contact him."

"I'll speak to Warren about it," Nicky says, "But no promises anything will happen."

"Find a way to make it happen," Wymack says sternly. Nicky nods and Wymack turns around to face the other Foxes and says, "All right. I don't want to see any of your faces for the rest of the day. Get outta here."

The Foxes shuffle out of the room, and Andrew's phone pings again and he's meet with a thumbs up from Warren. Andrew looks from his phone to his brother and Nicky and nods, and then they head to the dorms to get ready for Columbia.

●

Aaron goes to shop for some groceries while Andrew and Nicky pack their bags for the two nights, stuffing random shit for Aaron in his. Neil and Kevin are watching some sports movie neither could _actually_ be enjoying in the lounge room, and when Andrew walks past them, Kevin calls after him, "You'll need Asher to cut his hair if he's going to join us!"

Andrew doesn't bother replying, and instead starts packing the toiletries. The door to the dorm opens and Andrew looks out of the bathroom to see Aaron with the things from the store.

Nicky comes out of the bedroom and starts ruffling through the bags. He's almost head-deep in one, but he turns and looks at Aaron when he pulls something out with a raised eyebrow. It's a chocolate cake mixture.

Aaron puffs up like a defensive bird. "What? Things might get awkward and we might need something to do."

"There's such things as a movie, you absolute goober," Nicky snorts.

Andrew walks past them, towards the room, and says, "Cake will make it better." Nicky rolls his eyes and Aaron nods an agreement. Andrew enters the bedroom and grabs all of their bags and drags them out to the front door. Aaron places the grocery bags on top and shoves his shoes on, and Nicky follows his lead and does the same.

Andrew looks over his shoulder, back to the open loungeroom. Both Neil and Kevin are watching their departure, but look away when Andrew meets their gazes. Andrew resists rolling his eyes and goes over to the two, standing behind the couch.

"Have a good time," Neil says.

Andrew rubs a hand through his locks and says, "Yes."

"Teach him good skills," Kevin says.

Andrew taps his temple and says, "Yes."

Andrew and Neil share a kiss before Andrew turns to go join his brother and cousin, and Kevin shouts after him, "Give him a haircut!", just as the door closes behind them.

●

_Sunday 18th. March 2007._

There is crying coming from Safa's room.

Warren's out doing a shift at _Horizon_ before they leave for Columbia tomorrow, and Asher and Safa have had the house to themselves since Hunter had lumbered out after Warren earlier that morning.

Asher had been watching more Exy reruns and adding tips and notes to his small notebook simply called _EXY,_ but now he's had the television on low volume for a few minutes as he listens to the sound of Safa's sobs. He's unsure of what to do. When he had approached Safa about her grief over Hayley before, she had been slightly unresponsive and Asher was just. He did not know what to do.

He grits his jaw when he hears a particularly guttural cry, and he makes a decision. Asher kicks his blanket off, pulls his sleeves down over the back of his hands and walks up the stairs slowly, heading towards Safa's room.

The hallway's empty and slightly scary, but Asher focuses on the faint sunlight coming from Safa's room. Her door's open, so Asher leans against the doorway and hesitantly knocks on the wooden frame with his knuckles.

Safa's sitting in the middle of her double bed, slouched in the pillows. She's staring at the wall, but her cry's cease at the knock and her eyes snap over to him, bloodshot and wide. Asher stares at her and looks away and then back and softly says, "Do you want me to go?"

The girl stares at him and does it for so long Asher starts to back away, but when he goes to do so she holds a hand out and croaks, "Stay."

Asher nods and steps forwards slowly, and when she makes no move to stop him he settles onto the bed next to her, sinking into the pillows. He can feel her eyes on the side of his face, but he just looks at the roof, as he's not able to meet her small-pupiled gaze for any longer.

The silence goes on for a long time. Asher half expects Warren to get home any second or for him to turn around and find Safa asleep, but her voice shocks those theories away.

"I can't." She whispers. Asher glances at her. She's staring at the wall again, and she continues. "I can't stop thinking about how she looked on that bed. When they showed me her body."

Asher looks at the ceiling. His heart burns acid into his throat, as if he's swallowed a dark sun.

He doesn't know what to say, so he doesn't say anything. Safa lets him sit in silence for a few minutes before she asks, "Will you tell me what happened?"

"Didn't the police tell you?" Asher asks after two tries.

"I want your truth." Safa murmurs.

Asher swallows and clears his throat. His pulse beats loudly in his wrists, and he presses them to his chest to stop them from bursting out in thick blue streams of veins. "Okay." He answers, and then he begins the recount. "I remember I was. I was just...dozing in bed, for a little while. And then I heard..." Asher furrows his brows. Closes his eyes. Continues, "I heard this. This _scream._ I felt my heart stop and I got out of bed and I ran to the kitchen and I...I _slipped_ in the blood and I saw her _face._ "

He cuts himself off and opens his eyes. Safa burns holes into his head with her gaze, and Asher meets it and says, "Her face was smashed in with a plate, but I think to stop anymore noise he...he held her by the hair and just. Just kept on using the smashed pieces of the glass to stab her head. I can remember the chunks of hair and the...the _blood._ " Asher closes his eyes again and whispers, "There was so much blood."

He covers his face with his hands and tries to stop the memories of the terrifying night. Asher adds, his voice muffled behind his palms, "Jonathon must have sneaked around me because then I felt this punch and _pain_ in the back of my head and I woke up in that." Asher pauses and takes a shuddering breath that kills him. "I woke up in that _fucking cabin._ "

"And if I..." Asher goes on. He can't stop now that he's started. He snaps his whole head around to look at Safa. "If I hadn't been there-- _that would not have happened to her._ She wouldn't have been buried with a smashed in head or a fucked up face and she wouldn't have had to have had her last, _last_ moments drowning and gurgling in her own _fucking blood._ "

Safa stares at him. She looks horrified. Asher snarls, "If I hadn't been there she would have been _okay_!"

He shoves the bottom of his palms into his eyes and shudders, refusing to let a cry escape him. He bites his tongue so hard he tastes blood, and he resists the urge to smack his head repeatedly.

"I'm sorry," Safa whispers, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to tell me."

Asher stays quiet. Another shudder goes through him and he brings his hands away from his face to crack his knuckles angrily. "It's fine." Asher tells her. He cracks one thumb and says, "It's fine."

Safa's hand closes around Asher's, but an attempt at comfort just has his mind reeling. His skin itches and gets imaginarily sunburns and tickling fingers and he screams internally. Asher rips his hands from hers and jumps from the bed, quickly rushing to the door to gasp a burning breath in.

"Oh, _shit,_ " Safa says, "I'm sorry, I didn't. I wasn't thinking--"

"It's fine." Asher tells her, not facing her. Another shudder runs through him and he bites his bottom lip.

"It's not," Safa says sadly. Asher freezes and breathes and blinks and looks at her over his shoulder. She looks...defeated. Shoulders slumped, eyes heavy with something. "It's not fine, and it's not your fault, Asher," She says. The blonde opens and closes his mouth and Safa says firmly, "It's _not._ It is Jonathon's fault and Jonathon's fault alone."

Asher slowly nods. Safa nods back.

"I'm--" Asher whispers. He cuts himself off and then continues, "I would like to hug you, one day. But. I'm."

There's an unspoken _I'm sorry I can't_ in his words. Asher gives himself a second to wonder if this is what life is going to be like forever now--nobody touching him. Nobody being able to pat his shoulders or hug him or give him an affectionate head rub. Nobody being able to lock his fingers with theirs, weave an arm through his, jokingly punch his arm or kiss his cheek.

Nobody.

Asher wishes he could think about good things--like how Warren had mentioned that Asher could spend the day with Andrew and Aaron on Monday instead of looking around the city, but he _can't_. Asher hangs his head. He feels horrible that Safa's crying moment has turned into _his_ pity party, and he leaves indents with his nails onto the doorframe as anger fuzzes through him.

He grits his teeth. "I'm sorry I'm so _wrong._ "

Asher's gone before she can answer, heading down the stairs and back into his burrow of blankets. He turns the tv back on, but nothing registers and nothing on it gets through the cotton in his head.

Safa doesn't join him on the couch. Asher lets himself appreciate that. He needs the space to himself, but he slowly starts to come back to himself as he, Warren and Safa leave for Columbia at 9 pm, ready for the 14 hour drive.

●

_Monday 19th. March 2007._

Asher and the Ross's arrive at 11 am.

They must have left around late last night to get to Columbia this early. Andrew watches as Warren's truck pulls up, and he meets Aaron's eyes. His twins busy in the kitchen making scrambled eggs on toast, Nicky flicking through the news channels on the television in the lounge room.

He hears voices outside, and he spots Warren and Asher, and another dark skinned girl who must be Safa. The lot of them grab their things from the back of the ute, and Nicky stands up. Andrew's cousin nervously rubs his hands up his forearms and then goes and answers the door as soon as Warren knocks.

Andrew steps up behind Nicky as he pulls the door open. Warren's in front of the two younger adults, carrying a bag, and Safa's to his left and Asher to his right. Andrew meets Asher's slightly nervous gaze. Asher has his hands wound around the strap of his own bag, and he smiles softly when he and Andrew lock eyes.

"Hey," Nicky greets them with a smile, "Come on in."

He and Andrew stand aside and the three shuffle in. Asher takes to looking around with his eyes while Safa looks between Andrew, Asher and Aaron with a wide gaze. She hasn't seen them in person yet, and it shows in the disbelief of her expression.

Warren looks at Andrew and then at Nicky and asks, "Which rooms are we staying in?"

Nicky waves a hand for the three to follow him, and Asher glances once at Andrew and then at Aaron before following after him. Their house only has three bedrooms, but they've made do. There's two mattresses set up on the loungeroom ground for Aaron and Nicky, and one of the bedrooms has an extra bed on the floor as well for Warren and Safa, leaving the two other rooms for Andrew and Asher, and that accounts for all six of them.

Andrew watches them go and looks over at Aaron, who's serving the food onto some plates. He's probably assuming that their three guests are eating, but if they're not he can just put clingwrap over the plates and put them in the fridge for leftovers--which they'll most likely end up forgetting about.

Andrew looks back at the stairs at the sound of footsteps. Asher comes down alone and looks at Aaron and then at Andrew. He comes to a stop besides Andrew, looks at the tiles and then back up and says, "Hello."

Andrew and Aaron are in sync when they say, "Hi," in response. They send each other a look and Asher shuffles on his feet.

Before he can say anything more, Nicky comes back down the stairs with Warren and Safa in tow. He nods to the kitchen table, where the food is set up, and says, "If you guys are hungry we have some breakfast ready."

" _I_ have some breakfast ready, you mean," Aaron grumbles. Nicky gives him a grin and Warren nods his head.

"I could eat," He says, and Safa nods in agreement. Asher follows the action and then they sit themselves down; Asher at one end of the table, Andrew at the opposite, and Warren across from Aaron and Nicky across from Safa.

Andrew subtly watches as Asher picks through his food slightly, and Warren sends him a curious look which prompts the blonde to start eating. That makes everyone else start, and Nicky waves a forkful of egg at everyone as he speaks.

"So, since I know my way around Columbia and Palmetto, we were thinking it'd be easier for me to just show you two around--" He points between Warren and Safa, and then at Andrew, Aaron and Asher, "--while you three watch a movie or something."

Warren nods and Asher opens and closes his mouth before asking, "When do you guys start playing?"

Andrew feels fondness flare through him. He stomps on the feeling repeatedly. Aaron tilts his head at Asher and confirms, "Start playing Exy?"

At Asher's nod, Aaron answers, "Our first match is this Friday, actually. We're playing against the Jackals--Breckenridge."

"They any good?" Warren questions.

Aaron takes a sip of his water and nods several times. "Yes."

"They're also major a-holes," Nicky adds. He looks at Asher and says, "They've got this one dude nicknamed the Gorilla, and he's like, seven feet tall."

Asher leans forward. There's the tiniest bit of childish excitement as he says, "But didn't your teammate, Boyd, punch him one time and get him out of the game?"

Andrew watches as small smiles spark on everyone's faces. Asher glances at Warren and Safa and then at Nicky and says, "Sorry."

"Don't be," Nicky smiles, but there's a falter at Asher's apology. He adds, "I'm happy you're excited."

Asher sends him a tentative look and Safa takes ahold of the conversation, speaking with Nicky and Aaron about their majors. Nicky asks her about her mechanic shop, which she tells them about, and then she compliments Andrew's Maserati, sending him a look that clearly says _let me rip your car apart so I can look inside of it._ Andrew hopes his heavy-lidded look says _do not touch my car._

"How _did_ you get that car, anyway?" Safa asks after she has enough of Andrew's look.

Nicky and Aaron exchange a look, and Andrew glances at Safa. They can't really tell her that Andrew's boyfriend had enough money for a Maserati lying around, so Andrew says, "Last year, when we were facing the Edgar Allen Ravens, our last car was trashed by their fans and insurance paid off the Maserati for us," instead.

It's a bat-shit crazy lie, and Safa gives him a doubtful look. "Jesus. Either the company felt _really_ bad for you guys or your last car was _also_ a Maserati."

Nicky jumps in. "No, but it was a pretty expensive car."

Asher narrows his eyes at them, and Warren asks with a raised eyebrow, "Then how'd you get _that_ one then?"

" _Someone_ ," Aaron says with a pointed, dark look at Andrew, "decided to pay all of our insurance money on it."

It's a dangerous route they're going down. They've briefly spoken about Tilda in the therapy sessions with Bee, but not fully. Andrew meets Aaron's heavy gaze and Asher quietly asks, "Where did that insurance money come from, then?"

"Uhm." Nicky chuckles nervously. He looks between the twins and awkwardly says, "It came from when Andrew and Aaron's--and yours--mother--Tilda, that is--died in that car crash."

"She was not my mother." Andrew replies. Nicky looks at him with a pained expression.

"What?" Asher asks. Andrew looks over at him. He's looking between him, Aaron and Nicky, and he searches for any grief. There's none. Good.

"She was not my mother," Andrew repeats. Aaron clenches his jaw. Warren and Safa share a look and Andrew continues, "I only moved in with Aaron and Tilda when I was 15."

"You were..." Asher puts the pieces together quickly with a wide-eyed expression, "She separated _twins_?"

"Okay!" Nicky claps. He stands up and looks at Warren and Safa. "Ready for your tour around town?"

"Very much so," Warren says roughly. He stands up and nods at Aaron, "Thanks for breakfast."

Aaron looks at him blankly and nods, and then the three rush out of the house like hell is on their asses. Andrew watches them go, and silence takes hold of the room as Nicky pulls out of the driveway in Warren's truck.

Asher's still obviously curious, but he restrains himself and just stares at the table quietly. Aaron looks at the wall, eyes dark, and Andrew finishes off his eggs before standing up and gathering the plates for the sink.

He turns back to the his two brothers and Aaron slowly looks over his shoulder at him and says, "I'll get the cake mixture," in the darkest way to ever say those words. Aaron stands up and walks over to the kitchen cabinet, and Andrew watches Asher watch Aaron.

Asher looks at Andrew. "Cake mixture?" he asks quietly.

Andrew blinks at him slowly. Aaron says, "We're making a cake. You," He says, pointing at Andrew, "are on preparing materials duty. And you," He turns to Asher next, "Are going to be mixing. I'll do the decorations."

Andrew almost rolls his eyes, but instead he just goes and preheats the oven, making sure Asher gets up through the corner of his eye.

●

The atmosphere turns easier. Andrew listens as Aaron quietly tells Asher about Katelyn, as the younger boy had hesitantly rose the question a few minutes into their mission.

"She's so smart," Aaron says in an uncharacteristic happy voice. "And talented with dancing."

Andrew doesn't have to turn to see what look Aaron's making, but he glances over his shoulder to look at Asher's. He looks...content as he mixes the batter. He's not smiling, but his eyes are soft and his face and shoulders aren't tense. Andrew looks back to where he's placing baking paper in the cake pan.

After Aaron's finished with his love letter, Andrew feels Asher's gaze on the back of his neck. The boy says, "What about you, Andrew? Are you in a relationship with somebody?", after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Andrew looks at him. He's looking at Andrew, Aaron turned away from them both now, silent. Andrew glances at Aaron and wonders how Asher will react to the word 'boyfriend.'

He takes the leap and says, "Yes."

"What's their name?" Asher says after it's clear Andrew isn't going to continue. Andrew takes note of the _their_ and looks back to him.

"Neil," Andrew says simply. He turns back around, hiding his suddenly clenched jaw.

There's silence for a second. Andrew glances over his shoulder--expects to see Asher's disgusted face--but there's just a thoughtful one there.

"Neil," Asher repeats. He glances at Aaron and then at Andrew and asks, "He's a striker on your team, isn't he?"

Asher turns back to his mixing and Andrew blinks. He looks at Aaron, who's gone still at his place by the oven, and Andrew faces Asher again, "Yes," he turns back to his pan and adds, "He is also vice captain."

Asher hums and there's more silence. Andrew brings the pan over to Asher's side for him to pour the mixture in, but Aaron's voice makes Asher freeze around his bowl and spoon.

"Are you dating anybody, Asher?" Aaron asks. Andrew watches as Asher goes still, and a terrible feeling goes through Andrew's stomach.

Asher's eyes are wide but his pupils are small. He doesn't blink as he stares at the counter, but his hands shake around his bowl dangerously. Some of the cake mixture falls down the side of the bowl, and Andrew stares at Asher.

He looks lost. He looks like he's remembering something. He looks scared.

He looks familiar.

Aaron turns and stares as well at Asher's frozen form, and Andrew breathes in harshly and says, " _Asher._ "

Asher seems to snap back to reality. A horrible shudder goes through his tiny body, and his eyes blink several times like a flashing camera. His head tilts back to the right position with a _crack,_ and his fingers clench and curl and drop the bowl.

It smashes against the counter like a gunshot, and Aaron's at their side the second Asher flinches terribly-- _Andrew's heart thuds and thumps and who, who, who did this to him_ \--and Asher gasps out, "Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry--"

Asher goes to move his hand, but he bumps it into a glass on the sink side. The glass falls down and his hand follows after it like he's about to try and _catch_ it, and it shatters in the sink and around his pale hand.

Aaron reaches out and rips Asher away from the sink-- _and Asher makes a horrible, gut-wrenching sound and Andrew knows, he knows, he_ knows--and Andrew smacks Aaron's hand away from Asher.

"Andrew!" Aaron snaps. "He's got glass in his hand. I need to _see._ "

"Don't touch him," Andrew tells him. He jabs a finger up the stairs, "Go get a first aid kit."

Aaron stares at him with wide-eyes. Asher shudders again, leaning against the counter opposite the sink. He's staring at the blood running down his hand, but Andrew's not sure he's registered what happened yet.

Aaron glances between them and then says, " _Shit,_ " and rushes up the stairs. Andrew watches him go, takes a deep breath, and then turns back to Asher.

Asher doesn't look at him as he speaks. "I'm sorry." He whispers. "I'm sorry. I can...I can clean it up."

He wrenches his head up and looks at Andrew, "I can clean it up, I promise!"

"No." Andrew tells him slowly. "No, you do not have to clean it up. It's just glass, we can just put it in the trash."

"But I--" Asher says. He cuts himself off, stares at Andrew, and then scans the kitchen, "I...broke the...plates," He murmurs. He blinks and then turns back to Andrew sharply. His eyes gain recognition and he looks away from Andrew and stares at the floor.

"Sorry." Asher whispers.

"It's okay," Andrew replies. He doesn't recognise his voice, "It's alright."

Aaron runs back down the stairs, places his kit on the counter and uses a plastic bag to gather the smashed glass pieces. There'll be smaller bits on the ground, but they can vacuum it all up later. Aaron stuffs the glass in the bin with the bags and then nods to the sink.

"Can you put your hand under the sink?" Andrew asks Asher.

Asher stares at the floor and looks at him. "Why?" he asks quietly.

"So you can wash the blood off your hands," Aaron says softly. Asher stares at the two of them and then slowly steps forward, and Andrew and Aaron don't dare touch him as he washes his hands.

Asher keeps on glancing at them out of the corner of his eyes, and Andrew realises the look on Asher's face is shame. Asher doesn't think they'll hate him for something as small as this, right?

After his hands are clean, Asher stays deathly still as Aaron steps forward.

"Can I check your hands?" He questions. Asher stares at him and then nods slowly, and Andrew watches as Aaron gently takes ahold of his hands, turning them and placing small bandages over the cuts. Andrew stares at the scars lining Asher's hands and wonders _who did this to him_.

It takes a long time for things to settle down again, but after Aaron's finished checking Asher's injuries, he sends Andrew and Asher to the loungeroom. Asher shoves blankets over himself and Andrew flicks through the movie channels and DVDS, and when they're halfway through one Aaron hustles into the loungeroom with the cake.

It's still ridiculously hot, and the icing won't set properly, but none of them seem to care as they eat the chocolate cake--and from looking at his two brothers, Andrew realises his sweet tooth must be a Minyard thing.

●

_Monday 19th. March 2007._

Warren doesn't know what he's done to deserve this.

Safa and Nicky, as it turns out, must be platonic soulmates in some other alternate reality. The three had started out with tentative conversation, unsure with each other yet and regrettable with the way they had left Andrew, Aaron and Asher at the house. But the more they drove through Columbia and towards Palmetto, the more Safa and Nicky spoke.

When they had stopped for a coffee at a small takeaway shop, Nicky had mentioned Erik, his boyfriend in Germany, and then Safa had mentioned Hayley, her past girlfriend--and, well, Warren's pretty sure the lesbian and gay solidarity thing is real because when they had trekked back to the car Safa had hopped into the front seat next to a driving Nicky, banishing Warren to the back, and they haven't shut up since.

Not that Warren cares that much, despite his pouting. The back's pretty spacey, and besides, Warren's happy to see Safa laugh and make a new friend.

While the two talk about a movie or something, Warren runs a hand over his buzzed head and pulls his phone out. He texts a quick, _is everything good now,_ to Andrew to indirectly make sure Asher's okay.

Regret and shame burns in his stomach. Why had he left like that? He should have stayed and made sure Asher was going to be alright. He doesn't know what's going on between Andrew and Aaron about Tilda, but he does know Asher shouldn't be near any of it. He should learn about her death and personality and form his own idea about her, in Warren's opinion.

He puts his phone on his knee, flicks his sunglasses down over his eyes, and gazes out the window at Columbia. Nicky cackles at something Safa says, and his phone buzzes with a notification.

Warren glances down at his phone and flicks it back around.

**Andrew Minyard**

_yes._

Three dots pop up and then Warren reads the next message.

**Andrew Minyard**

_we are eating cake and_

_watching a movie_

Warren sends back a thumbs up and Nicky says, "Is that a phone notification I hear?"

Warren looks at him, exasperated. "Yes," He says, "They're watching a movie and eating cake now."

Nicky looks at him through the rearview mirror and grins, "Of course they are. Does Asher eat as much chocolate as Andrew and Aaron?"

"Yup," Safa says with a bright face. Warren smiles at her from where she can't see and she says, "But he doesn't like to admit it. He tries to restrain himself, but that boy has so many hot chocolates it's a wonder he's not got the heat of an oven."

Nicky makes a shocked laughing noise. "Aaron does the same, but he's not that fond of hot chocolates as he is of tea, surprisingly." A soft look passes over Nicky's face and he adds, "Andrew is, though. When I first started out as their guardian, I remember we both went to the shop and I was just grabbing random shit because I had, like, no idea what I was doing and Andrew just stopped and _stared_ at the hot chocolate powder and I looked at it and asked if he wanted some and he just. Stared and walked away."

Nicky smiles and glances at them, "I grabbed some anyway, and later that week I always saw Andrew having a cup of it. He didn't say thanks, but his silent approval actually felt...pretty good."

Safa smiles tightly at Nicky and Nicky continues smiling until they turn two more silent corners. His smiles falls slowly, and Warren looks out the window.

"How old were you when you took them in?" Safa asks quietly.

Nicky glances at her. His hands shift around the steering wheel, and he says, "It was only a few years ago. Tilda died when the twins were 16, I think, and I didn't want them to go with my asshole parents, y'know? I came back from Germany and I was going to just stay with them until they were of age...but then Wymack came and offered scholarships, and well, it was...it was college, so I said yes."

"Do you see Erik often?" Safa questions.

Nicky shrugs and rubs the back of his neck, "Sometimes during breaks and all that. But, well," Nicky grins again. Warren finds the contrast shocking. "I'll get to stay with him once I've finished college, so yeah. I wouldn't..."

He trails off and stares into the distance. He glances at Warren and then Safa and says, "I wouldn't change anything, if I could. Coming back for them was worth it, y'know? They needed someone on their side for a change."

Safa nods. Nicky changes the subject and Warren looks out the window again, but he's brought back into the conversation when Nicky says, "Oh! I almost forgot."

"What?" Warren asks, looking at him from behind his sunglasses.

"Asher needs a phone." Nicky says, straight to the point. They pass a _Welcome to Palmetto State_ sign, and Nicky says, "If he's joining us Foxes, we need a way to contact him. It's not safe, otherwise."

"Not safe?" Safa echoes.

Nicky looks at her and opens his mouth and closes it before looking at the road and saying, "Oh, we forgot to tell you, didn't we?"

"Forgot to tell us what?" Warren asks, leaning forward between the console.

"The Foxes. What we're about," Nicky explains, "I'm sure Asher already knows, if he's been watching our games, but Wymack built the Foxes with the idea of 'broken home kids playing Exy for a second chance' in his mind. Some people--well, actually, a lot of people--don't like us, and in general it's just not safe for us to not be able to contact each other, y'know?"

Warren looks at him and then looks away. Will Asher be safe on this team? He hadn't realised the Foxes were a controversy.

Nicky flails a hand, "But, hey, we'll keep Asher safe. It's just better if he has a phone."

Warren nods slowly. If Asher already knows the requirements, then, well...it's his decision, right? Warren says, "We'll talk to him about the phone stuff."

He leans back against his seat and Nicky grins and Safa and him continue speaking. Warren stares out at Palmetto and wonders what the hell they've driven into.

●

_Monday 19th. March 2007._

Nicky, Warren and Safa arrive back at the house in Columbia at around dinner.

Asher is still busy watching movies with Andrew and Aaron, eyes heavy with sleep and body comfortably hidden under layers of blankets, but he manages to turn his head when the door opens.

Nicky hustles in first, and Warren and Safa follow after him. Aaron turns off the tap from in the kitchen where he's washing out their plates, and Andrew pauses the movie.

"Ah," Nicky says. He looks at them and stops in the middle of the entry way and huffs, "You guys look busy."

Andrew grunts at him from his dark corner. Nicky grins and Warren looks at Asher and asks, "Good?"

Asher looks at him and nods. Warren nods back and Safa looks at them all and says, "You guys hungry? We're gonna head down to the local diner for an early dinner."

All Asher, Andrew and Aaron have had today is the scrambled eggs and chocolate cake. Asher stretches out his arms while Aaron accepts the invitations, and Warren heads upstairs and comes back with three jumpers.

He throws one at Safa and then at Asher, who barely manages to catch it, and then throws one on himself. Asher wrestles his on and gets off the couch, and then they all exit the house.

Asher hesitates. Andrew, Aaron and Nicky head to the Maserati, and Warren and Safa head to the truck. Asher steps one way and the other, but ultimately decides on Warren's ute, stepping up into the backseat and closing the door.

He ties his hair back into a small, puffy ponytail and pulls his hood up to keep his ears warm, and Warren looks at him through the rearview mirror and asks, "Good day?"

He's already asked if he's good, but Asher supposes he's just checking in again.

Asher thinks about his freak-out at Aaron's 'are you in a relationship' question--the words reminding him of dark, whispered _I love you_ 's and _you're mine--_ and then thinks about the smashed glass.

The shattered pieces had brought back a suppressed memory of his time at the cabin, angrily losing it as he smashes plate after plate in the kitchen. He can remember Jonathon shoving him to the wall and snarling and Asher screaming that he can clean it, because he regretted his outburst almost as soon as he had done it.

But then Asher thinks about the warm cake and blankets and Aaron's dry commentary about the movies and Andrew's comforting, silent presence and nods and confirms, "Good day."

Warren holds his gaze for a moment longer before pulling out of the driveway, following the Maserati.

●

_Tuesday 20th. March 2007._

The next day brings training for Exy.

Warren and Safa seat themselves on the porch and drink their tropical juice happily, enjoying the rare sun. The backyards big enough for four players and two sides of a fake, much smaller, court, and Aaron, Nicky, Andrew and Asher are gathered in the middle.

Asher lets himself gaze at Warren and Safa for a second, finding happiness in their content expressions. It's stupid how much he cares about them, but it's not something he needs to continuously try to study. Asher just drinks in their faces and turns back to his...family.

Nicky grins at him. They're all wearing normal sports attire, but Aaron and Nicky are covered in dirt from tackling each other as soon as their feet hit the grass ground.

"So," Nicky yells, like they're in an actual stadium with crowd volume, "Tell us what you already know about Exy."

Asher stares at them. He looks at Andrew, Aaron and then at Nicky and says, "Uh. The racquet hits the ball into the net. People try to stop you." They stare at him. Asher self-consciously adds, "...Don't let them?

There's silence for a second. Nicky nods several times and says, "Okay. Okay. We can work with that!"

"We can?" Aaron asks wryly.

Asher's not in an odd mood for once, so he doesn't take offense. Andrew, however, flicks at Aaron's feet with his huge goalie racquet, making Aaron jolt and jump. Andrew ignores his glare and looks at Asher and says, "Show us what you know."

Asher swallows and nods, and then they get into position.

Andrew backs off into the goal, and Nicky and Aaron take their spots in front of him as backliner's. Asher backs off a few steps, places the ball in front of him, and asks, "What position am I going for?"

"Any," Aaron says, "Just show us what you've got."

Asher realises how nerve-wracking this really is. He has to be able to do good...he can't let them down. His heart beats into his throat and he takes striker position, and Aaron and Nicky clench their hands around their racquets.

Asher meets Andrew's heavy-lidded eyes and rushes forward. He twists his feet to the left when he gets close, and tilts his body with the curve to pivot. His racquet would have went under Aaron, but Nicky brings his foot in between Asher's and pulls him into his body.

He goes down pretty hard when he comes into contact with Nicky, but, well. That was expected.

Asher hits the ground and looks up at his cousin and brother with bleary eyes. Aaron crouches and says, "That was not good."

"Thank you," Asher says as if he doesn't already know that, "So much for that."

Disappointment is a stupid feeling to have, especially since it's his first time playing in so long, but it still runs high and long. He doesn't want to let them down. Aaron holds a hand out, and Asher takes it. He hobbles to his feet and Nicky says, "Well, it was your first go. When did you say you last played?"

Asher glances at him. "I was 14."

Nicky winces but smiles reassuringly.

"What position did you play?" Andrew asks, interrupting whatever Nicky was about to say. Asher looks at him, slightly confused.

"There were no set positions," Asher answers, "Why?"

Andrew hums. "You came in like a striker, but you pivoted like a backliner. How fast are you?"

Asher stares at him. He lifts one shoulder up in a half-shrug.

He's always been a fast kid. His short build has always allowed him to gather extra speed, and the amount of time he spent running at the Cabin could have somehow helped adjust that ability, but, well, Asher doesn't want to think about _that._

Andrew lets the silence sit for a second before he says, "Try again."

Safa cheers as Asher heads back down the yard, and they all get back into position. However, this time Asher doesn't think about disappointing or letting people down. He just.

He just thinks about Exy.

A few days ago, he had watched a Foxes vs Trojans practice match. He thinks about the best player--Kevin Day. He has a special way of playing, using calculations and angles, but Asher's not focusing on that. He focuses on the movement Kevin's feet do, the round way he rushes the backliner's and the bounce off the plexiglass and into Neil Josten's net and _bamb!_ Into the goal.

But Asher doesn't have a partner with him right now, so he improvises.

He can remember the way Neil runs from all his moments of watching the games, so Asher does the same as him. He pushes his feet forward and uses long strides, but he copies Kevin and rounds to the side.

Asher doesn't have a plexiglass, so he rebounds the ball towards the cheap goal pole on a hopefully correct angle. Andrew's too far back in the net to reach the ball, and Asher forgets all about Aaron and Nicky as he goes sideways.

The ball hits the pole and flies back over to the left side of the yard, and Asher catches it with ease. Rebounding the ball with that speed allows an opening, as Nicky and Aaron are to the right side of the goal while Asher's now at the left.

He aims at Aaron's side and shoots.

He misses.

It flies _just_ past the outside of the goal, and Asher feels disappointment flare in his stomach like a hot coal. He turns, about to apologise, but blinks in surprise instead due to the looks on Aaron and Nicky's faces.

" _What?_ " Nicky shouts. Warren makes a loud, shocked noise and Nicky says, "What!"

"What the fuck just happened?" Aaron demands, "How'd you get that rebound?"

Asher gives him a puzzled look and says, "I caught it in my net."

"I _know_ that--"

"That was Kevin's rebound." Andrew says. He's looking straight at Asher. "You've been practicing?"

Asher tilts his head at him, "No," He replies, "I saw it on TV."

There's silence for a second. Warren flatly repeats from his place on the porch, "You saw it on tv."

"Yes," Asher says. He knows it was a pretty good try, but it wasn't perfect. His aim is still shit, and though it was a better try than the first it still wasn't a score.

"You..." Nicky trails off. He drops his racquet and cradles his head and says, "Hold on."

"It wasn't that hard," Asher insists, "If you can see someone play, you can copy their actions."

Aaron points at the goal pole, "But you rebounded the ball off the _pole_."

Asher blinks and shrugs. "There was no plexiglass." They're all still staring at him blankly, so Asher explains, "I know that Kevin rounds when he charges backliner's to rebound to Neil, but since I don't have a plexiglass _or_ a partner, I just combined their moves and reached a middle ground. I ran like Neil--sideways, pass the backliner's--and rebounded off the pole like how Kevin would to a plexiglass, and since the pole is closer to the middle I had time to run to the left and catch it."

They're still staring at him. Asher drops his racquet and crosses his arms. "I still _missed._ "

"You can teach someone how to shoot!" Safa shouts, "But you can't teach somebody whatever the fuck you just did!"

Asher looks at her with wide-eyes, "Yes you--"

"No," Andrew says. Asher looks at him and Andrew says, "She means you can't teach somebody that instinct that knows how to mimic." Asher opens his mouth and Andrew holds a hand up and says, "You learnt how to do one of Kevin's moves by only watching him."

Asher blinks at him and shakes his head and looks away. They're getting his hopes up; it was most likely just a fluke from the adrenaline.

Nicky starts laughing all of a sudden. Asher looks at him, alarmed, and Nicky grins and says, "This is going to be so much fun. You think you can copy one of Jack's flailing arm falls?"

"I..." Asher says quietly. "I don't know who that is."

Nicky laughs louder and says, "Hell yeah! Everyone who doubted you is gonna _eat dirt_!"

Asher steps back slightly. He almost forgot the Foxes knew about him...knew that not even a rookie was going to possibly join them. Nerves twitch inside him, setting him alight.

But...he's not sure if he's nervous or, well.

Asher looks at Andrew, Aaron, Nicky, Warren and Safa and then glances down at his racquet. He crouches down, stares at it, and traces the outline of the net. His heart beats. He feels alive.

Asher stands back up with the racquet and says, "Again."

They get back into position.

●

He doesn't manage to pull another trick out of his sleeve during the rest of the practice, so they focus on his aim and offense charge for the rest of the day. Asher's entire being hurts as they drag themselves back inside, but he feels...good.

Warren gives him such a prideful look and it makes Asher desperately want to be able to hug the man, and Safa hands him some tropical juice and grins white teeth. Nicky's still flabbergasted over his move, but Aaron's mostly calmed down from it now.

Andrew comes up next to him when he gets a glass of water from the tap, and Asher glances at him. 99% of the time Andrew doesn't seem to hold an expression, but right now he looks almost thoughtful.

"Dealer." Andrew says.

Asher looks at him and blinks, a clear _huh_?

Andrew elaborates, "Your position is a dealer. You can do both offensive and defensive depending on the situation."

The warmth that forms in his chest is so startling it almost makes Asher drop his glass and smash another thing. It feels like starlight has streamed into his veins, like he's drunk on heatwaves and high on sun kisses. Asher stares at Andrew and blinks and breathes and relaxes against the counter.

He's been cold for so long, he's forgotten what this has felt like.

"Thank you," Asher says quietly. He looks away from his brother, to the sink and then to the window.

Andrew hums. The adrenaline from Exy has calmed down and Asher feels like he's fallen back into his body after a long time in space. He feels more like himself, which isn't necessarily bad or good. It's just...okay. He's okay.

"Get some sleep," Andrew advises, "Big day tomorrow."

He turns and goes to leave but Asher looks at him and asks, "Big day?"

Andrew glances at him over his shoulder, "PSU tomorrow. We're getting you a haircut, and then we're going to the Foxhole Court."

He exits the kitchen and Asher stares after him. His heartbeat pounds in his fingertips and he places the cup on the sink side and then looks out the window.

There's an orange sunset on the horizon. It looks like a future, and Asher can't wait to race towards it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everybody enjoyed! I'm posting this at 9:30 pm so sorry if I don't respond to comments quickly!!
> 
> also !!! my update schedule for this fic will probably be roughly every wednesday! I'll notify people on my twiiter//tumblr if this changes <33 thanks for the continuous support!
> 
> thanks for reading!  
> —  
> come yell with me on tumblr — [@lacuniaa](http://www.tumblr.com/blog/lacuniaa)  
> & check out my twitter!! — [@lacuniaa](https://twitter.com/lacuniaa)


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